The two keys to success as a sportswriter are: 1) A blind willingness to believe anything you're told by the coaches, flacks, hustlers and other "official spokesmen" for the team-owners who provide the free booze ... and: 2) A Roget's Thesaurus, in o...
In medieval times, contrary to popular belief, most knights were bandits, mercenaries, lawless brigands, skinners, highwaymen, and thieves. The supposed chivalry of Charlemagne and Roland had as much to do with the majority of medieval knights as the...
Danilo's was the kind of place where many drinking men come to hide, be it from their wives, in-laws, their jobs or life in general. it was where men and women can come to drink poison as if it was the only form of medicine available to remedy the mi...
I had a dream about you. We were checking in to a haunted hotel, and you said you forgot your toothbrush. I told you my left pants pocket was empty if you wanted to clean your teeth with that, but you said you’d rather suffer through halitosis, bec...
I once asked an old Japanese man why Japan decided to team up with Germany during WWII, and do you know what he told me? Well, you would if you speak Japanese, which I don’t.
That she made a point to eat only the gristliest chicken bits, the burned biscuits, the mealiest potatoes, while she complained that his children were, variously, weak-minded, hysterical or sickly, and seemed to imply that such afflictions were the r...
At around 6:00 a.m., April 30, 1987, we were awakened by a loud bull horn while inside our rented mobile home at an Ozark, Missouri trailer park. "Glenn Miller, Jack Jackson, Douglas Sheets, Tony Wydra, this is a United States Marshal. You have three...
Alan Garner: [looks at his manual] It says here we should work in teams. Who wants to be my spotter? Doug Billings: I don't think you should be doing too much gambling tonight, Alan. Alan Garner: Gambling? Who said anything about gambling? It's not g...
Everett Flatch: [Shooter is coaching the team at a critical moment after Coach Dale was ejected] You think #22's gonna take their last shot, Dad? Wilbur 'Shooter' Flatch: Yeah, probably... they been pickin' low all night. Rade, let yourself get taken...
Herb Brooks: I got a telegram from a lady in Texas today, and you know what it said? Patty Brooks: What? Herb Brooks: Beat those Commie bastards. We're playing a hockey game against the greatest team in the world, and they're the best that's ever pla...
Don DaGradi: [to Travers] so this is the rest of your team, Dick and Bob Sherman! Music and lyrics. [to the Shermans] Don DaGradi: Boys, this is the one and only Mrs. P.L. Travers, the creator of our beloved Mary! P.L. Travers: Poppins. Don DaGradi: ...
[Lester and Carolyn are driving to the basketball game to watch Jane's dance team gig] Lester Burnham: Well what makes you so sure she wants us to be there? Did she ask us to come? Carolyn Burnham: Of course not. She doesn't want us to know how impor...
Ripley: Lieutenant, what do those pulse rifles fire? Gorman: 10 millimeter explosive tip caseless. Standard light armor piercing round, why? Ripley: Well, look where your team is. They're right under the primary heat exchangers. Gorman: So? Ripley: S...
Within a couple of weeks of starting the Ph.D. program, though, she discovered that she'd booked passage on a sinking ship. There aren't any jobs, the other students informed her; the profession's glutted with tenured old men who won't step aside for...
The claim of fine tuning is subjective. As I stated before, no measurement in physics is perfect. The amount of precision we demand can be increased or decreased at our whim. We could have an approximate measurement that has a huge margin of error an...
Someone who doesn't make the (Olympic) team might weep and collapse. In my day no one fell on the track and cried like a baby. We lost gracefully. And when someone won, he didn't act like he'd just become king of the world, either. Athletes in my day...
We make a pretty good team, huh?" "The best. In fact, I was planning to do this when we got back to the Fairmont, but suddenly I don't want to wait." "For what?" Reaching into the pocket of his black pinstripe suit coat, he retrieved a huge square-cu...
When our mother is seen only as the one-dimensional Mary of modern times, instead of the great dual force of life and death, She is relegated to the same second-class status of most women in the world. She is without desires of Her own, selfless and ...
I had a dream about you. You were wearing an ice cream cone for a hat, and I was wearing a dunce cap. You were jealous of me because my hat was a bigger cone than yours, and I was jealous of you because your hat was edible. In the end we decided to t...
That is what is marvelous about school, she realized: when you are in school, your talents are without number, and your promise is boundless. You ace a math test: you will one day work for NASA. The choir director asks you to sing a solo at the holid...
The Rough Beast snorted. “You don’t get it at all, buddy. It’s not about wrestling. It’s about stories. We’re storytellers.” Caperton studied him. “Somebody at my job just said that.” “It’s true! You have to be able to tell the st...
