Major Barton: [into a telephone] Barton, sir. Col. Robinson: [into a telephone] Barton, I don't care what your watches say, mine says they should've gone 3 minutes so send them. Major Barton: Sir, do you know that they're back in the trenches. Col. R...
Hal: Percy. Something to say? Percy Wetmore: I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet. Hal: How many years you spend pissing on a toilet seat before someone told you to put it up? Paul Edgecomb: Percy fucked up, Hal, pure and simple. Hal: Is t...
Jan Edgecomb: [after they have sex all night long for the first time] Paul? Paul Edgecomb: Yeah? Jan Edgecomb: Not that I'm complaining... Paul Edgecomb: Uh-huh? Jan Edgecomb: But we haven't gone four times in one night since we were 19. Paul Edgecom...
Conrad: This is for you. Nicholas: You shouldn't have. Conrad: What do you get for the man who has... everything? Nicholas: [reading card] "Consumer Recreation Services." Well, I do have golf clubs. Conrad: Call that number. Nicholas: Why? Conrad: Ma...
Stef: [Andy has accidentally kissed Mikey] OK, you kissed. Now tell. Andy: There's something weird. Stef: What? What is it? Andy: Does Brand wear braces? Andy: [Stef bursts into laughter] Why are you laughing? Stef, it was beautiful. Stef: Next time ...
Francis Fratelli: Sloth stop that. Jake Fratelli: Do you remember when we took you to the Bronx Zoo and left you there? Francis Fratelli: We've never been to the Bronx Zoo! Jake Fratelli: Do you remember the time we were going to get your teeth fixed...
Ryan Stone: C'mon Matt, talk to me. Tell me where you are, give me your position. Where are you? Give me a visual, tell me what you see. C'mon, you've been yammering since we left Cape Canaveral, *now* you decide to shut up? Talk to me! Just say some...
Dave Moss: [on Ricky] He's the top man on the board so he doesn't have to sit here and listen to this shit? Williamson: That's correct! And as the hour is waning I suggest you those of you who are interested in a continuing job with this organization...
Pam: So how exactly does one become a stuntman? Stuntman Mike: Well, in Hollywood, anyone fool enough to throw themselves down a flight of stairs can usually find someone to pay them for it. But really, I got into the business the way most people get...
Batô: Chief, you ever question the ethics of the neurosurgeons who monkey around inside your brain? Section 9 Department Chief Aramaki: They undergo psychiatric evaluations, especially those in security. They're subjected to a stringent screening of...
Walt Kowalski: [about Thao] I don't care about him. Sue Lor: You hang out with him, you teach him to fix things, you saved him from that fucked cousin of ours. Walt Kowalski: Watch your language, lady. Sue Lor: And you're a better man to him than our...
Yuri Hayakawa: Makoto! Makoto Konno: What? Yuri Hayakawa: Did you decide between sciences and humanities? Makoto Konno: No. You? Yuri Hayakawa: Nope. Makoto Konno: That's good. Yuri Hayakawa: Can't make up your mind right away, yeah? Who knows what'l...
Dr. Lamar: Jerome, never shy, pisses on command. Beautiful piece of equipment you've got there, Jerome. I ever told you that? Vincent: Only every time I'm in here. Dr. Lamar: Occupational hazard. I see a great many on the course of any given day. You...
Bellatrix Lestrange: [Holding Hermione down] That sword is meant to be in my vault at Gringotts, how did you get it? Did you and your friends take it from my vault? Hermione Granger: I didn't take anything. Please. I didn't take anything. Bellatrix L...
Professor Severus Snape: [to the Hogwart's students] If anyone here knows any knowledge of Mr. Potter's movements this evening, I invite them to step forward... now. Harry Potter: [Stepping out of the crowd] It seems despite your exhaustive defensive...
Professor Snape: [taps the blank Marauder's Map with his wand] Reveal your secrets. [writing appears on the map] Professor Snape: Read it. Harry: "Messrs. Mooney, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, offer their compliments to Professor Snape and... " Prof...
Cornelius Fudge: [just after Buckbeak's escape] We must search the grounds! Dumbledore: Search the *skies* if you must, Minister, but now I think I'll have a nice cup of tea, or a large brandy. Oh, and executioner, your services are no longer require...
Rod McCallister: Who's gonna feed your spider while we're gone? Buzz McCallister: He just ate a whole load of mice guts. He should be good for a couple of weeks. Say... isn't it true that French babes don't shave their pits? Rod McCallister: Some don...
Tequila: What's with all these paper cranes? You bored? Maybe you feel lonely here? Alan: You know, I've always hated making cranes. I make one each time I kill somebody. How about it, shall I make you one? Tequila: No thanks. And if you'll get kille...
Howl: [Quietly amused] Calcifer? You're being so obedient. Calcifer: Not on purpose! She bullied me! Howl: Not just anybody can do that. [Looks at Sophie] Howl: And you are... who? Old Sophie: Er, You can just call me Grandma Sophie. I'm your new cle...
Peeta Mellark: See, Katniss, the way the whole "friend" thing works is you have to tell each other the deep stuff. Katniss Everdeen: The deep stuff? Peeta Mellark: Yeah. Katniss Everdeen: Uh-oh. Like what? Peeta Mellark: Like, uh... what's your favor...
