Det. Bill Mitchell: Hey Keith, let me see your shoe. Keith Frazier: What? Det. Bill Mitchell: Lemme see your shoe. Keith Frazier: Why? Det. Bill Mitchell: 'Cause I have never seen anyone put their foot that far up a guy's ass. Keith Frazier: [Busts o...
Dr. Miles J. Bennell: This is the oddest thing I've ever heard of. Let's hope we don't catch it. I'd hate to wake up some morning and find out that you weren't you. Becky: [laughs] I'm not the high school kid you use to romance, so how can you tell? ...
[as Brody sends the air tanks flying] Hooper: Dammit, Martin! This is compressed air! Brody: Well, what the hell kind of a knot was that? Hooper: You pulled the wrong one. You screw around with these tanks, and they're gonna blow up! Quint: Yeah, tha...
Earl McGraw: Well, give me the gory details, Son Number One. Edgar McGraw: It's a goddamn massacre, Pop. They wiped out the whole wedding party, execution-style. Earl McGraw: Give me a figure. Edgar McGraw: Nine dead bodies. And we're talking the who...
The Bride: Karen... I just found out, right now, not a moment before you blew a hole through the door, that I'm pregnant. Karen Kim: What is this? The Bride: On the floor, by the door, is a strip that says I'm pregnant. Karen Kim: Bullshit. The Bride...
Dave Lizewski: Even with my metal plates and my fucked up nerve endings, I gotta tell you, that hurt! But not half as much as the idea of leaving everything behind. Katie, my dad, Todd and Marty... and all the things I'd never do. Like learn to drive...
Oddball: [looking at aerial pics of the a remaining bridge] Beautiful. Moriarty: suppose the bridge ain't there? Oddball: [groans] Don't hit me with them negative waves so early in the morning. Think the bridge will be there and it will be there. It'...
[Gazelle places the blankets over the corpses, then opens the door to welcome Valentine with a glass of whisky] Gazelle: Everything is clean. Valentine: My kind of welcome. [Valentine sips whisky before approaching Professor Arnold] Valentine: No sto...
[Rufus places the necklace box in a cellophane bag, opening one drawer and another, scooping amounts of small roses and lavender in the bag. He then pulls out a four-inch cinnamon stick] Harry: What's that? Rufus: It's a cinnamon stick, sir. Harry: A...
Dean: [after seeing Gary holding a candle under the house owner's feet] Whoa, whoa Kenny! What are you doing? Gary: I am trying to find out where they keep their money! Dean: You twat! Can't you see these people have got no money? They can't even aff...
Julien's Mother: You think you're the first to play "Dares"? Julien à 8 ans: Mom? What's the craziest thing you ever did? Julien's Mother: Fly. Julien à 8 ans: FLY? Fly where? Julien's Mother: Across the sky. Julien à 8 ans: Show me. Come on, fly,...
Merry: Why did you look? Why do you always have to look? Pippin: I don't know. I can't help it. Merry: You never can. Pippin: I'm sorry, all right? I won't do it again. Merry: Don't you understand? The enemy thinks you have the Ring. He's going to be...
Old Lady: [investigating the noise] What's happening out there? Malky: All right, ma'am, go away, DEA. Police. Old Lady: Why don't you leave that poor family alone? Malky: [to Stansfield] It's all right, everything's al right. Just calm down. Stansfi...
Malcolm Tucker: You, hey, put the snifter out there that if the BBC ambushes a minister with another surprise question about the war, I'll drop a bomb on them. Judy: I can't do that, can I? That's political. Malcolm Tucker: Does that not fit within y...
Toby Wright: [looking at George Washington monument] See that? Pull that out, America deflates. Malcolm Tucker: Yeah, it's very easy to mock. The closest you'll ever get to one of those is buying a fucking Toblerone. I'll wait in the car. Simon Foste...
Joe: There's a reason we're called loopers. When we sign up for this job, taking out the future's garbage, we also agree to a very specific proviso. Time travel in the future is so illegal, that when our employers want to close our contracts, they'll...
Frodo: [of Gollum] It's a pity Bilbo didn't kill him when he had the chance. Gandalf: Pity? It was pity that stayed Bilbo's hand. Many that live deserve death. Some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them, Frodo? Do not be too eager to deal ou...
Bilbo: [enigmatically] You're a good lad, Frodo. I'm very selfish, you know. Yes, I am. Very selfish. I don't know why I took you in after your mother and father died but it wasn't out of charity. I think it was because... of all my numerous relation...
Slevin: But I'm not Nick. Elvis: Yeah, well, unfortunately for you, you're not the first cat to tell me you wasn't the guy I was looking for. Slevin: You can ask Lindsey. She lives across the hall! Elvis: Yo, man, I ain't askin' nobody nothin'! Nick,...
Sam: What we need is a few good taters. Gollum: What's taters, precious? What's taters, eh? Sam: *Po-tay-toes!* Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew... Lovely big golden chips with a nice piece of fried fish. [Gollum makes a noise of disgust while...
[from extended version] Legolas: Final count, forty-two. Gimli: Forty-two? Oh, that's not bad for a pointy-eared elvish princeling. Hmph! I myself am sitting pretty on forty-THREE. Legolas: [takes out an arrow, and shoots the Uruk Gimli is sitting on...
