Hoke Colburn: Hey, there, Oscar, Junior... how you boys doin' this morning? Oscar: How the old lady treatin' you, Hoke? Hoke Colburn: Lord, I tell you one thing... she sho' do know how to throw a fit! [Hoke, Oscar, and Junior break out in laughter] D...
Boolie Werthan: [Boolie is eating lunch at Daisy's, trying to convince her that she can't drive anymore after her accident] Mama. Daisy Werthan: No. Boolie Werthan: Mama! Daisy Werthan: No! Boolie Werthan: You know, it's a miracle you're not laying u...
Gambol: [to The Joker] Give me one reason why I shouldn't have my boy here pull your head off. The Joker: How about a magic trick? [pulls out a pencil and sticks it upright into the table] The Joker: I'm gonna make this pencil disappear. [Gambol's th...
The Joker: I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr. Reese spoiling everything, but...
The Joker: If we don't deal with this now, soon little, uh, Gambol here won't be able to get a nickel for his grandma. Gambol: [explodes] Enough from the clown! [He rises to his feet; Joker does too, opening his coat to reveal a cluster of grenades, ...
[Batman has just fought off Scarecrow and a group of Batman wannabes] Batman: Don't let me find you out here again. Brian: We're trying to help you! Batman: I don't need help. Dr. Jonathan Crane: Not my diagnosis! Brian: What gives you the right? Wha...
[while Grumpy overpowers two of the tellers in the bank, Happy and Dopey wait for the silent alarm to come] Dopey: Here comes the silent alarm... [disables it by pressing a button] Dopey: And there it goes. [pause] Dopey: That's funny, it didn't dial...
Happy: [after cracking open the bank's safe] They wired this thing up with, like, 5,000 volts. What kind of bank does that? Grumpy: A mob bank. I guess the Joker is as crazy as they say. Where's the alarm guy? Happy: Boss told me, when the guy was do...
C.A. Swan: Smart, aren't you? Tony Wendice: No, not really. I've just had time to think things out. Put myself in your position. That's why I know you're going to agree. C.A. Swan: What makes you think I'll agree? Tony Wendice: For the same reason th...
Bookie Harassed by French: I'm in the hole, I pay him two grand a week. There's no profit, I pay him two grand a week. Mr. French: Well make more fuckin' money. This is America. You don't make money, then you're a fuckin' douchebag. [pulls out gun] M...
Frank Costello: There is no need to remind you that if you don't find that cheese eating rat bastard in your department... it won't be me who suffers for it. Colin Sullivan: What I be any good at my job if I didn't fucking already know that? Frank Co...
[Two traders are getting their shoes shined] Trader #2: You can't short the stock because Bruce Wayne goes to a party. Trader #1: Wayne coming back is change. Change is either good or bad. I pick bad. Trader #2: On what basis? Trader #1: I flipped a ...
Van Helsing: Jack. Come here. I know how deeply you loved her. That is why you must trust me and believe. Doctor Jack Seward: Believe? How can I believe? Van Helsing: I want you to bring me, before nightfall, a set of postmortem knives. Doctor Jack S...
Mrs. Teasdale: As chairwoman of the reception committee, I extend the wishes of every man, woman, and child of Freedonia. Rufus T. Firefly: Never mind that stuff. [He takes out a deck of cards] Rufus T. Firefly: Take a card. Mrs. Teasdale: [as she ta...
Todd Anderson: Mr. Keating! They made everybody sign it. Nolan: Quiet, Mr. Anderson. Todd Anderson: You gotta believe me. It's true. John Keating: I do believe you, Todd. Nolan: Leave, Mr. Keating. Todd Anderson: But it wasn't his fault! Nolan: Sit d...
Django: [Politely and gentleman-like] Cora, before you go, will you tell Miss Lara "goodbye"? Cora: [Quietly] Do what now? Django: I said, "Tell Miss Lara, goodbye!" Cora: Bye, Miss Lara! Django: [Django quickly shoots Miss Lara, who is comically blo...
John McClane: You know this guy Simon we're talking to? Zeus: Yeah. John McClane: I threw his little brother off the thirty-second floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed off about it. Zeus: Wait a minute. You mean to tell m...
[Bride of the Monster wrap party. Mariachi band plays "Que sera sera"] Tor Johnson: Mister Bunny, what's wrong? I heard you were becoming a lady. Bunny Breckinridge: Oh, that. Mexico was... a nightmare. We got into a car accident... he was killed. Ou...
Father Merrin: I cast you out! Unclean spirit! Demon: Shove it up your ass, you faggot! Father Merrin: In the Name of our Lord Jesus Christ! It is he who commands you! It is he who flung you from the gates of Heaven to the depths of Hell! Demon: Fuck...
Narrator: Home was a condo on the fifteenth floor of a filing cabinet for widows and young professionals. The walls were solid concrete. A foot of concrete is important when your next-door neighbor lets their hearing aid go and have to watch game-sho...
Don Miguel Rojo: That's the right idea? You didn't misunderstand? Joe: I get the wrong idea only when it suits me. Ramon Rojo: You are well informed, eh? Joe: A man's life in these parts often depends on a mere scrap of information. Your brother's ow...
