I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for the first time live, just in some comedy club when I was 18, and again, just guttural, pure laughter. I didn't know what he was doing; I couldn't se...
The first time I did stand-up I was 17, and I was really a stand-up once I was 19 in New York, and now I'm 41, and I still feel like I haven't found myself onstage. Earlier in my career, I was really tight, really together, and knew who I was and I w...
So much of memory comes from the beginning of our lives when we know the world for the first time with a kind of clarity. It is that discovery of the past in the present on which a writer depends again and again as if our lost childhoods, like the su...
One of the hardest things for me to do is watch myself. The first time I see it, I am obsessed with my left ear or my right ear or some other physical attribute, or the fact that I'm 60 or whatever shallow ego thought is running through my head. I'm ...
It's only a matter of time before it all starts to fall apart, before things start to fall off. Short legs, long body. The kind of person who in the Middle Ages would come up over the hill on his horse, and they'd say, 'Get Wogan,' and I'd be there w...
People in my village had this mindset that in big cities like New York, if you are lost or without directions, no one will help you. The first time I came here, I tried to make sure not to walk by myself, because it would be difficult for me if I got...
I was pretty nervous when I met Robert DeNiro. I kind of felt like a kid in a candy store for the first time. I couldn't wipe the grin off of my face. But Bobby DeNiro was really, really sweet and made me feel very comfortable. He's very low-key and ...
The social issues outside of football are not as defined as they were earlier, when integration took place and certain rights were legislated. The Civil Rights movement is over. Individuals can buy homes wherever they want, travel first class whereve...
When I travel, I always take my Winsor & Newton watercolor kit, which is the size of a pack of cigarettes when folded up. I bought my first one in the 1980s. It was handy to bring on trips, and I packed it into a leather pouch along with a couple of ...
It is a sore point, because you do have advantages if you have access to more than one language. You also have problems, because on bad days you don't trust yourself, either in your first or your second language, and so you feel like a complete halfw...
Lorbeer: I only give the food to the women, Mr. Black. Women make the homes, men just make wars... and hooch. Adam was God's first draft - He got it right with Eve. Tell that to your readers, Mr. Black.
Judge: Gordon Stewart Northcott, you've been charged with three counts of murder in the first degree with an additional seventeen counts under review by the district attorney's office. How do you plea? Gordon Northcott: Oh, not guilty, Your Honor.
Warden Marshall Krutch: You know, I didn't know where to count your boy at first... him being half-Indian. But I did him a favor. I counted him as a white man. Truman Capote: You're a kind and generous man.
[Grange notices Gideon's burns] Grange: You burn yourself playing with matches? Gideon: Fuck off. Grange: You have an appointment. Gideon: Well, shit on me. Grange: Drink up. Gideon: This is a first. Do I bow or do I curtsy?
[first lines] Jim Gordon: I knew Harvey Dent. I was his friend. And it will be a very long time before someone... inspires us the way he did. I believed in Harvey Dent.
[McClane removes his shirt and pants] John McClane: You know, you're the first woman since Holly to see me do this. Connie Kowalski: I'm honored. John McClane: Yeah, so was she.
[first lines - theatrical version] Braithwaite: Hello, Mr. Lee. My name is Braithwaite. Lee: Hello, Mr. Braithwaite. Braithwaite: I've come to speak to you about a matter of great importance. Lee: Have some tea. Braithwaite: Yes, indeed.
[first lines] Joel: [voice over] random thoughts for Valentine's day, 2004. Today is a holiday invented by greeting card companies to make people feel like crap.
[Arthur and Lancelot are fighting at their first encounter] Lancelot: Your rage has unbalanced you. You, sir, would fight to the death, against a knight who is not your enemy. Over a stretch of road you could easily ride around. Arthur: So be it. To ...
Teasle: Are you telling me that 200 of our men against your boy is a no-win situation for us? Trautman: You send that many, don't forget one thing. Teasle: What? Trautman: A good supply of body bags.
Deputy Mitch: [Gault floors Rambo with a nightstick] Gault, what the fuck was that? Deputy Sergeant Arthur Gault: Well, the man said 'Clean him up.' [Kicks Rambo] Deputy Sergeant Arthur Gault: Clean him up...
