Soap: What do they say about assumption being the brother of all fuck-ups? Tom: It's the mother of all fuck-ups, stupid! Soap: Brother, mother, any other sucker. It don't make any difference. They're still fucking guns and they still fire fucking bul...
[Burch's cell phone rings; she reaches for it] Nick Rice: Hey, wait, you're gonna take that? After all the grief you've given me over cell phones? Judge Laura Burch: Well, that's one of the benefits of being a judge, Mr. Rice. I can... pretty much do...
Young Simba: Everything the light touches... But what about that shadowy place? Mufasa: That's beyond our borders. You must never go there, Simba. Young Simba: But I thought a king can do whatever he wants. Mufasa: There's more to being a king than g...
Dennis: Come and see the violence inherent in the system. Help! Help! I'm being repressed! King Arthur: Bloody peasant! Dennis: Oh, what a giveaway! Did you hear that? Did you hear that, eh? That's what I'm on about! Did you see him repressing me? Yo...
Celia: [wearing a cone after being treated by the CDA] Last night was one of the worst nights of my entire life, bar none! [the snakes on her hair, also wearing cones, pop out to hiss at Mike] Celia: I thought you cared about me. Mike: Honey, please....
Max Jerry Horovitz: I have also invented some new words. "Confuzzled", which is being confused and puzzled at the same time, "snirt", which is a cross between snow and dirt, and "smushables", which are squashed groceries you find at the bottom of the...
Isaac Davis: I got a kid, he's being raised by two women at the moment. Mary Wilke: Oh, y'know, I mean I think that works. Uh, they made some studies, I read in one of the psychoanalytic quarterlies. You don't need a male, I mean. Two mothers are abs...
Satine: Besides, I can't fall in love with anyone Christian: Can't... fall... in love? But, a life without love, that's... terrible... Satine: No, being on the street, that's terrible. Christian: No! Love is like oxygen! Satine: What? Christian: Love...
[Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the force] Frank: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! My God, he really was innocent! Ed: He went to the chair two years ago, Frank. Frank: Well, uh... [Frank Drebin quickly sho...
[after being beaten by the Man in Black] Inigo Montoya: Kill me quickly. Man in Black: I would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself. However, since I can't have you follow me either... [knocks him out] Man in Black: Plea...
Fortune: I rode the bench for two years. Thought I wasn't being played because of my color, I got filled up with a lotta attitude. So I quit. Still not a week goes by I don't regret it. And I guarantee a week won't go by in your life you won't regret...
[Royal's fake terminal illness has been exposed and he is being thrown out of the house] Royal: Look, I know I'm going to be the bad guy on this one, but I just want to say the last six days have been the best six days of probably my whole life. Narr...
Shapiro: Tea is being served on the veranda. Animal, where are the napkins? [Animal puts down some napkins as Dunbar and Bagradian approach the table] Bagradian: [Imitating Ronald Colman talking to his real-life wife, Benita Hume] Do be seated, Benit...
Vaughan Cunningham: Please don't tell anybody at the store that Albert was here. You know how this town is. Everybody spreads cruel rumors. Melinda: You mean about you and Albert being that way...? I think everybody at the store already knows about i...
Dianne: I don't think he'd leave us, Davs. David: Wouldn't he? Lizzy, how can you put your faith in a man you spectacularly binned for being unreliable? A man whose idea of a romantic nightspot and an impenetrable fortress are the same thing? It's......
Han Solo: [as Lando is being dragged down by Sarlaac] Chewie, give me the gun! Don't move, Lando! Lando Calrissian: No, wait! I thought you were blind! Han Solo: It's alright, I can see a lot better! Don't move! Lando Calrissian: Up a little higher! ...
Jim: Do you ever just live in the moment? It's like now, what could be better than being tucked here with you?... I mean, if I died right now it would be OK. George: Well it wouldn't be OK with me, so why don't you just shut up and go and change the ...
James T. Kirk: Where you came from... did I know my father? Spock Prime: Yes... you often spoke of him as being your inspiration for joining Starfleet. He proudly lived to see you become captain of the Enterprise. James T. Kirk: CAPTAIN? Spock Prime:...
Admiral Richard Barnett: This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished graduates. He's programmed the Kobayashi Maru exam for the last four years. Commander? Spock: Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine i...
[first lines] Cavalry scout: These hills here are full of Apaches. They've burnt every ranch building in sight. [referring to Indian scout] Cavalry scout: He had a brush with them last night. Says they're being stirred up by Geronimo. Capt. Sickel: G...
Kyle: You don't think they're really going to kill Terrence and Phillip, do you? Cartman: Kyle you need to stop being such a chicken shit and stand up to your mother!, you need to smack her in the face and say that's enough of your shit you fucking b...
