When I do stand-up, I'm basically doing a one-man show.
Never give up, and never give in.
I may be boring, but it would be to wake up by my dog and then my daughter.
Most stand-up comics relish performing 'in one' - solo. They like the autonomy.
If Beethoven and Bach hooked up with Mozart and made a band, they could be a distant runner up to The D.
I like to look like a tomboy during the day and then a pin-up girl at night.
I've seen too many ups and downs in the movie industry.
He slides into second with a stand up double.
If you never give up, you'll be successful.
I had a lot of reading problems growing up.
I want to be Miss Universe when I grow up.
We're the only species that have crapped up the planet and the only species that can clean it up.
When I was growing up, Green Day had just come out.
Growing up in a Mennonite background, there's not much media.
Growing up in Boston and dancing in the streets, you see a lot of things.
You grow up the day you have the first real laugh at yourself.
You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.
Cancer is not a straight line. It's up and down.
I started out as a stand-up comedian. And that's what I'm most comfortable doing.
I'm sure I'm very difficult to live with because of my make-up and personality.
I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.
