Jessica: If she's so nice go and make out with her. Elin: Okay, what do I get if I do? Jessica: If you do what? Elin: If I make out with her. Jessica: You'll get AIDS, probably.
When I was in high school I was a really huge 'SNL' fan. I remember the cast around the time I started watching it - Will Ferrell, Ana Gasteyer, Molly Shannon, Cheri O'Teri, Tracy Morgan. I did research to find out how people got on the show. Their b...
I grew up playing the saxophone. I joined the jazz band in high school, but somewhere along the way I realized the guys who strummed acoustic guitars at parties were the ones who got the attention. So I asked a friend to show me a few chords, and whe...
Having done a lot of magazines, I'm very curious how big magazines handle big stories, and I was very curious to see how 'Time' and 'Newsweek' would handle 9/11. And I was basically pretty disappointed to see that they had chosen to show the photo we...
I was the class clown, you know, that kind of thing, and I gathered around me a group of guys who also were silly. I was in all the plays and everything. But I don't know, at that time show businesses looked like the moon, you know, it was so far awa...
The trick to acting is not to show off; it's to think the thoughts of the character. I was lucky because when I started acting, it was doing jobs above pubs. I learned to act in anonymity, so by the time people saw me, I knew what I was doing. I was ...
I was in California the first time I heard Michael Jackson wanted to record with me. I was, like, 'Nah, no way, he's too big, it can't be true.' Then I got a call from Michael's people at my hotel telling me he was interested. But I still wasn't beli...
We're living at a time where if you do a Google search for a 'show, review and network,' you'll get 'The New York Times' and Pete Billingsley from a town you've never heard of on the same results page. It's kind of democratizing the process so that e...
I acted professionally for about eight years, and I was writing all that time but never showed anybody any of it. There just came a point after those eight years when I thought, 'There's a lot I can do with acting - there are a lot of things I can ex...
Living and working for four decades in a Bologna apartment and studio he shared with his unwed sisters, Morandi painted little but bottles, boxes, jars, and vases. Yet like that of Chardin and the underappreciated William Nicholson, Morandi's work se...
In my new IFC comedy game show, 'Bunk,' we actually use our intern Patrick as a human timer - giving contestants the time it takes for him to wade through a bag of broken glass for a razor blade, to get gum out of his hair, to pick up every strand fr...
There used to be three networks, and now there are 40 million networks. There's a lot more competition out there, too. We would bring in 27 million people. Now, they're lucky if they have 17. I looked at the ratings, for the first time in 25 years, j...
I was working for a Swedish TV show - I'm Swedish - who basically did kind of spectacular stories. It was almost like CBS '60 Minutes,' but a Swedish version where we actually did travel quite a lot. After a while, I realized that travel is the most ...
I grew up in Hollywood. My father always told me that this is a job. These events are filled with people you work with; it's not like glam-schmooze time. That's why I only like events that celebrate people I have a connection to; otherwise, it's some...
I think if they wanted to get me to leave 'Children in Need,' they'd have to drag me off screaming. It's one thing that's so close to my heart, and I feel passionately about it. I gave up my radio show, with regret, but knowing I'd done it for a long...
There were high school coaches such as Charles Boston that took me under his wing and taught me the fundamentals of football. And when I went to college there was Robert Hill who took me there and he showed me what hard work and determination would d...
Douglas Fairbanks: Charles, you're a foreigner; you're still an outsider. You've never understood this country. Charlie Chaplin: It's a good country underneath, Doug. Douglas Fairbanks: No, it's a good country on *top*. Underneath, that's what starts...
[Blake captures Selina at the airport] John Blake: I showed your picture to the Congressman. Guess what? Selina Kyle: Don't tell me, still in love? John Blake: Oh, head over heels. Pressing charges, though.
Frieda: I was saying, tonight you must not smoke such a big cigar. Your voice was very bad at tonight's show. Hans: Please, Frieda, don't tell me what I do. When I want a cigar, I smoke a cigar. I want no orders from a woman.
[Toretto walks in front of Hobbs' hospital bed] Dominic Toretto: You risk life and limb to save the free world, and what does it give you? Jell-o and a bad '70s TV show. [Hobbs is seen watching a rerun of The Incredible Hulk]
Drax the Destroyer: [lets Star-Lord into the Milano] This one shows spirit. He shall make a keen ally in the battle against Ronan. Companion, what were you retrieving? [Star-Lord hands him his stereo-player] Drax the Destroyer: You're an imbecile.
