Son, never trust a man who doesn’t drink because he’s probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. ...
I wish they'd conduct a national poll to find out who feels out of place and who doesn't. Just to get the numbers, you know? To get a feel for how many of us there are. Sometimes at work I get the feeling that it's got to be right up against 100%. I�...
Vern: Any of you guys know when the next train is due? Chris: We could go down to the route 1-36 bridge. Teddy: What are you, crazy? That's 5 miles down the river, you go 5 miles down the river you gotta walk 5 miles back! That could take 'til dark. ...
He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Any canned pineapple that expires on May 1? Cashier: You know what day it is today? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: April 30? Cashier: Right. You think we sell outdated stock? He Zhiwu, Cop 223: There's still two hours to go. Cashier: Nobody wo...
Reggie Lampert: Not until you proof to me that you're really Brian Crookshank. Brian Crookshank: All right, one day next week I'll put it on a marriage license. How about that...? Reggie Lampert: [interrupting] Quit stalling. I want some identificati...
Randal Graves: Man, you must love this fucking guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. "I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me." And t...
Rick: Fuck! Why do these guys have to be black? I mean, why? No matter how we spin this thing, I'm either gonna lose the black vote or I'm gonna lose the law and order vote! Karen: You know, I think you're worrying too much. You have a lot of support...
Hoke Colburn: [Hoke walks in, Boolie and Daisy are there to confront him about a missing can of salmon] Mornin', Miss Daisy. I think it's gettin' ready to clear up out there! Oh, 'scuse me, Mr. Werthan! Boolie Werthan: Hoke, I think we're gonna have ...
Walter Neff: Hello, Keyes. You're up pretty early, aren't you? I always wondered what time you got down to the office. Or did that little man of yours pull you out of bed? Barton Keyes: The janitor did. Seems you leaked a little blood on the way in h...
Lt. James Gordon: Harvey Dent never made it home. The Joker: Of course not. Lt. James Gordon: What have you done with him? The Joker: Me? I was right here. [holds up his arms in handcuffs] The Joker: Who did you leave him with? Your people? Assuming,...
Dracula: You will, I trust, excuse me if I do not join you. But, I have already dined, and I never drink... wine. Jonathan Harker: [looks at painting on the wall] An ancestor? I see a resemblance. Dracula: The Order of the Dracul, the Dragon. An anci...
Mischa: [the second guard tries to reach the front desk but instead reaches Simon's henchman who has replaced the real guard] Front desk. Federal Reserve Guard #2: Yes, call the police, get your ass down here right now! I'm under attack! Mischa: Hey,...
Adolf Hitler: You see, gentlemen? I'll be proved right. Wenck will come. [leaves generals] Adolf Hitler: Wenck will come. [passes by guards who salute to him] General der Artillerie Helmuth Weidling: I want to immediately know if it's possible for We...
Rita Vrataski: [after Bill gets hit during training] You all right, Cage? Lt. Col. Bill Cage: I think I broke something... Rita Vrataski: What? Lt. Col. Bill Cage: My back. The only thing I can feel are my lips. Rita Vrataski: Now listen carefully. T...
Trautman: I don't think you understand. I didn't come to rescue Rambo from you. I came here to rescue you from him. Teasle: Well, we all appreciate your concern Colonel, I will try to be extra careful! Trautman: I'm just amazed he allowed any of your...
[analyzing drug shipment] Chemist: Blast off: one-eight-oh. Two hundred: Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval. Two ten: U.S. Government certified. Two twenty: lunar trajectory, junk of the month club, sirloin steak. Two thirty: Grade A poison. Absolute...
[first lines] Train Conductor: Tickets. Tickets, please. Tickets. Tickets. Thank you. Tickets. Col. Douglas Mortimer: Is this part of Tucumcari? Train Conductor: We should pass there in about 3 to 4 minutes. Col. Douglas Mortimer: Thanks. Carpetbagge...
Galloway: You put him on the stand and you get it from him! Kaffee: Oh, we get it from him! Yes! No problem! We get it from him. [turns to Sam as if he were Jessup on the stand] Kaffee: Colonel Jessup, isn't it true that you ordered the Code Red on S...
Raoul Duke: I want you to understand that this man at the wheel is my attorney. He's not just some dingbat I found on the strip, man. He's a foreigner. I think he's probably Samoan. But that doesn't matter, though, does it? Are you prejudiced? Hitchh...
[a brawl takes place between Drax and Rocket] Drax the Destroyer: This vermin speaks of affairs he knows nothing about! Rocket Raccoon: That is true! Drax the Destroyer: He has no respect! Rocket Raccoon: That is also true! Keep callin' me vermin tou...
[Inspecting Dana's refrigerator for paranormal activity] Dr. Peter Venkman: Oh, my *God*. Look at all the junk food! Dana Barrett: Oh, no, Goddammit. None of this was here... Dr. Peter Venkman: You actually eat this? Dana Barrett: Look, this wasn't h...
