Barton Keyes: Now look, Walter. A guy takes out an accident policy that's worth $100,000 if he's killed on the train. Then, two weeks later, he *is* killed on the train. And, not from the train accident, mind you, but falling off some silly observati...
Django: [Django shoots Billy Crash in the arm; he falls to the floor injured and wailing] Billy Crash! [pause] Django: Now, where were we? Oh... that's right! Last time I saw you, you had your hands around my- [Django shoots Billy Crash in the genita...
[In the Whammy Burger] Bill Foster: Why am I calling you by your first names? I don't even know you. I still call my boss "Mister", and I've been working for him for seven years, but all of a sudden I walk in here and I'm calling you Rick and Sheila ...
[after Bill shoots the golf cart, triggering Frank's heart attack] Bill Foster: What's wrong? Frank: My - heart... Bill Foster: Well, what can I do about it? Frank: Pills... get p-pills... Bill Foster: Where are your pills? [Frank points towards the ...
Motorcycle Cop Bobbit: [Highway Patrolman, Prendergast, and Car Driver are talking in gridlocked traffic] Gentlemen, I'm going to have to ask you to both return to your vehicles. Car Driver: But what about the car? Motorcycle Cop Bobbit: I'm going to...
Bilbo Baggins: I did not come to steal from you, O Smaug the Unassessably Wealthy. I merely wanted to gaze upon your magnificence, to see if you really were as great as the old tales say. I did not believe them. Smaug: [strikes a pose] And do you, NO...
Willie: So what are you supposed to be, a lion tamer? Indiana Jones: I'm allowing you to tag along. So why don't you give your mouth a rest. Okay doll? Willie: What do you mean "tag along"? Ever since you got into my club, you haven't been able to ta...
Susannah: Were you going to say goodbye? Tristan? How long will you be gone? Tristan: Not long. A few months. Susannah: I can make it better for you. Tristan: No. Susannah: If we'd had a child or if I were pregnant, would you still be going? Tristan:...
[from extended version] [looking at the elvish rope] Frodo: We can't leave this here for someone to follow us down. Sam: Who's going to follow us down here, Mr. Frodo? Sam: It's a shame, really. Lady Galadriel gave me that. Real elvish rope. Sam: Wel...
'Mrs.' Margaret Todhunter: [having been given the choice between a double or two single rooms, Eric Todhunter has hastily chosen the two singles] You might at least have asked which one I preferred. Eric Todhunter: Please Margaret, a double room in a...
Lara Anderton: [starts fixing Lamar's bow tie] Lamar Burgess: Listen, I'll tell you what I'll do. First thing Monday, I'll look over the Witwer evidence. And I'll have Gideon run the Containment files, see if anyone drowned a woman by the name of - w...
Christian: India! India! It's set in India! And there's a courtesan, the most beautiful courtesan in all the world. [Turns to the Duke] Christian: But her kingdom's invaded by an evil Maharaja! Now, in order to save her kingdom, she has to seduce the...
Del: When I'm dead and buried, all I'll leave behind are some shower curtain rings that didn't fall down. Some legacy, huh? Neal: At the very least, the absolute minimum, you'll have a woman you love to grow old with. You love her, don't you? Del: Lo...
Flora: One day when my mother and father were singing together in the forest, a great storm blew up out of nowhere. But so passionate was their singing that they did not notice, nor did they stop as the rain began to fall, and when their voices rose ...
Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge: Look, Doc, we can't do this without you! Dr. Zefram Cochrane: I don't care. I don't want to be a statue. Cmdr. William Riker: Doctor... Dr. Zefram Cochrane: You stay away from me! [runs off] Cmdr. William Riker: ...
Queen: Magic Mirror, on the wall, who, now, is the fairest one of all? Magic Mirror: Over the seven jewelled hills, beyond the seventh fall, in the cottage of the Seven Dwarfs, dwells Snow White, fairest of them all. Queen: Snow White lies dead in th...
Daphne: [after meeting the all-girl band they'll be traveling with] How about that talent, huh? It's like falling into a tub of butter. Joe: Watch it, Daphne! Daphne: When I was a kid, Joe, I used to have a dream. I was locked up overnight in a pastr...
Bithiah: A conquerer, already conquered? Moses: The first face I look for and the last I find. [as Moses saw Bithiah, he knelt to her, to honor her] Moses: Mother! Bithiah: I was thanking the gods for your safe return. But I find you in grave danger ...
Charles Muntz: You know Carl, these people who come here, they all tell pretty good stories. [He walks to a row of human skulls on a shelf, each of which is wearing a hat of some kind] Charles Muntz: A surveyor making a map... [he knocks over the fir...
Eddie Valiant: [to Smart Ass, to the tune of "The Merry-Go-Round Broke Down"] I'm through with taking falls/I'm bouncing off the walls/Without that gun/I'd have some fun/I'd kick you in the... Roger Rabbit: Nose! Smart Ass: Nose? That don't rhyme wit...
Valerie Thomas: I guess we thought that maybe Susan Orlean and Leroche could fall in love, and... Charlie Kaufman: Okay. But, I'm saying, it's like, I don't want to cram in sex or guns or car chases, you know... or characters, you know, learning prof...
