Col. Hans Landa: [to a bound and blindfolded Lt. Aldo] You've had a nice long run, Aldo. Alas, you're now in the hands of the SS. [raises hands in a dramatic manner] Col. Hans Landa: My hands, to be exact. And they've been waiting a long time to touc...
The Bride: [voiceover narration] As I lay in the back of Buck's truck, trying to will my limbs out of entropy, I could see the faces of the cunts that did this to me and the dicks responsible. Members all of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad. When...
Budd: That gentled ya down some. Ain't nobody a badass with a double dose of rock salt that deep in their tits. Not havin tits as fine or big as yours, I can't even imagine how bad that shit must sting... yet I don't want to, neither. [the Bride spit...
Ratso Rizzo: Here I am, goin' to Florida, my leg hurts, my butt hurts, my chest hurts, my face hurts, and like that ain't enough, I gotta pee all over myself. [Joe Buck laughs] Ratso Rizzo: That's funny? I'm fallin' apart here! Joe Buck: It's just - ...
[first lines] Christopher "Chris" Wilton: The man who said "I'd rather be lucky than good" saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are m...
Detective Banner: [Holds up Nola's diary] have you seen this before? Christopher "Chris" Wilton: No [takes the diary and starts reading it] Detective Banner: Were you aware that Nola Rice kept a diary? Christopher "Chris" Wilton: [looks up after a fe...
[first lines] Radio Announcer #1: ...before the end of the season last year, and then re-injured it in spring training on a terrific game-saving play. You know, I was talking with... Sean's Father: What time is this going on? Jimmy's Father: 7:30 is ...
[as the seven are about to leave the village] Calvera: You'll do much better on the other side of the border. There you can steal cattle, hold up trains... all you have to face is sheriff, marshall. Once I rob a bank in Texas; your government get aft...
[Frank has beaten a horde of America's most-feared world leaders in a conference room and heads for a door] Muammar al-Qaddafi: Hey, who are you? Frank: I'm Lt. Frank Drebin! Police Squad! And don't ever let me catch you guys in America! [the door hi...
Diana Christensen: [flipping through the newspaper] You know, Barbara, the Arabs have decided to jack up the price of oil another 20%... uh, the CIA has been caught opening Senator Humphrey's mail... there's a civil war in Angola... another one in Be...
Barbossa: For too long I've been parched of thirst and unable to quench it. Too long I've been starving to death and haven't died. I feel nothing. Not the wind on my face nor the spray of the sea. Nor the warmth of a woman's flesh. [steps into moonli...
[while holding a razor to Jackie Boy's face] Dwight: I'm Shellie's new boyfriend and I'm out of my mind. If you so much as talk to her or even think her name, I'll cut you in ways that'll make you useless to a woman. Jack Rafferty: You're making a bi...
[Fiona notices it's sunset] Princess Fiona: [uneasy] Shouldn't we stop to make camp? Shrek: No, that'll take longer. We can keep going. Princess Fiona: But, there's... ROBBERS, in the woods! Donkey: Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camp is definitely starting ...
Jayne Cobb: Ain't logical. Cuttin' on his own face, rapin' and murdering - Hell, I'll kill a man in a fair fight... or if I think he's gonna start a fair fight, or if he bothers me, or if there's a woman, or if I'm gettin' paid - mostly only when I'm...
Dr. Mathias: [referring to Dr. Simon Tam who has just helped his sister, River Tam, escape] Gave up a brilliant future in medicine as well. It's madness. The Operative: Madness? [Ambles over to the holographic projection of River and Simon escaping t...
Signor Adolfo Pirelli: To shave-a da face/ To trim-a da beard/ To make-a da bristle/ Clean like a whistle/ Dis is from early infancy/ Da talent give to me/ By God./ It take-a da skill/ It take-a da brains/ It take-a da will/ To take-a da pains!/ It t...
Ayel: I will speak for Captain Nero. Captain Robau: Then ask Captain Nero what gives him the right to attack a Federation vessel. Ayel: [activates a hologram with Spock Prime's face] Do you know the location of Ambassador Spock? Captain Robau: I'm un...
Chorus: [singing] Shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker. You're a boner biting bastard, Uncle Fucker. Terrence: You're an uncle fucker, I must say. Phillip: Well you fucked your uncle yesterday. Terrance, Phillip: Uncle Fucker. That's U-N-C-L-E FUCK Y...
[last lines] Private Edward P. Train: [voice over] Where is it that we were together? Who were you that I lived with? The brother. The friend. Darkness, light. Strife and love. Are they the workings of one mind? The features of the same face? Oh, my ...
Wyatt Earp: [Tyler reaches for his gun] Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens... Johnny Tyler: [pauses, scared] M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your... Wyatt Earp: [slaps Tyler across the face, unafraid] I'm gettin' tired of all...
Even Bigger Black Guy: I mean you beatin' 10 cops? You putting a man in the hospital? How come I don't see no bruises on you? Big Black Guy: Yeah! Billy Ray Valentine: 'Cause I'm a karate man! And a karate man bruises on the inside! They don't show t...
