Quotes of: Expense Keyword

I saw him do a No More Potatoes Dance, after he saw me stuff the last of the mashed potatoes in my pocket. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

My shoes are scuffed and dirty from dancing. The grave of my enemy is where I go to find my inner Astaire.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I went on a date last night and things went well. If you must know, I got lucky. I found a four-leaf clover.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I inherited a pound from my British uncle. I’d have rather gotten a dollar, because what do I want with an animal shelter? 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

The peace corps looks like peace corpse, and death isn’t a very peaceful thought to me.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I wasn’t dead, I was asleep. There’s a difference, however slight. That subtle difference is between being a stiff and having a stiffy.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

A part-time worker is fully employed, half the time. In other words, they are part-time unemployees.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers.  

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I thought I was eating a candy bar, but it turned out to be a yummy burrito. I was both disappointed and appointed at the same time.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

A fuel pump is a fountain drink machine for cars. And people who want to save the environment and get drunk and run to work.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

When the fog lifts on this economy, I think we’ll find a lot of people refusing to ever turn off their caution lights.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I need a Caution: Slippery When Wet sign, because I just spilled my ego all over the floor. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

The only reason I didn’t feel like a complete fool was because the failure left me feeling incomplete.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

The name’s David Davidson, and I am not my own son. I’m also not my own father, if you were wondering.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

Take me to Happy Birthday Land. It’s open 364 days of the year, and the one day of the year it’s closed for cleaning happens to be my birthday.  

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

My favorite flower lost its voice, and through aroma therapy and the assistance of both my nostrils, I’m trying to help it get it back.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I met a guy who had an interesting job. He was a meat cutter, or a meat slicer, something like that. I probably butchered his job title. 

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

I’m not a ref, but I assigned her the penalty of clipping, and I told her to drop the scissors and step away from the newspaper ads.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

To show the football coach I was ready to play tight end, I wore no pants and had a Q-tip dangling out of my ass.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.

With intellectual labor your hard work is forever, while with manual labor your hard work is temporary and soon forgotten.

At even one penny, this book would be overpriced. In fact, free is too expensive, because you'd still waste time by reading it.