Noel Coward: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Here's a little number I tossed off recently in the Caribbean. [singing] Noel Coward: Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? / Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? / It's swell to have a stiffy. /...
First Ancestor: Great Stone Dragon, have you awakened? Mushu: [holding up the Great Stone Dragon's head, which is all that is left of him] Uh, uh, uh, uh... Yes, I just woke up. I'm... I'm the Great Stone Dragon. Good morning! I will go forth and fet...
Leonard Shelby: I don't even know how long she's been gone. It's like I've woken up in bed and she's not here... because she's gone to the bathroom or something. But somehow, I know she's never gonna come back to bed. If I could just... reach over an...
Chris: You heard of anything? Vin: Just shooing some flies away from a Mexican village, but I can't find out what it pays. Chris: Twenty dollars. Vin: A week? Vin: Six weeks. Vin: Oh, that's ridiculous. Have you heard of anything? Chris: Yeah. Shooin...
Wendy: You'd better be careful. Eric: Of what? Wendy: I'm serious, Eric. You're not in Modesto anymore. I see the way you look at him. Eric: He's so beautiful. I can't help it. He's like a god. Wendy: You don't have to tell me, I was infatuated with ...
Diz Moore: [dictating into phone] In protest, the whole Senate body rose and walked out. Clarissa Saunders: No! No, not that straight stuff. Now listen, kick it up, get on his side, fight for him! Understand? Diz Moore: You love this monkey - don't y...
Kate Grant: Why do you want meatloaf if it isn't even on the dinner menu? Woody Grant: 'cause I like it. Waitress: What can I get you? Woody Grant: Do you have any meatloaf? Waitress: No, that's only part of our lunch specials. Kate Grant: He'll have...
Jorge de Burgos: Laughter is a devilish wind which deforms, uh, the lineaments of the face and makes men look like monkeys. William of Baskerville: Monkeys do not laugh. Laughter is particular to men. Jorge de Burgos: As is sin. Christ never laughed....
Driving instructor: It's okay. Normally you would not be going sixty-five down the wrong way of a one-way street. [a large semi truck appears speeding out of a tunnel towards the car. Stephanie screams, even Frank is terrified, but the unflappable dr...
Nancy: What I learned in the dream clinic. That's what I'm trying to prove mother. Rod didn't kill Tina and he didn't hang himself. There's this guy. He's after us in our dreams. Marge: But that's just not reality Nancy. Nancy: [Pulling Krueger's hat...
Deborah Gelly: Noodles... you're the only person that I have ever... Noodles: Ever what? Noodles: Go ahead, ever what? Deborah Gelly: ...that I ever cared about. But you'd lock me up and throw away the key, wouldn't you? Noodles: Yeah. Yeah, I guess ...
Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports. Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it. Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. An...
Blind Seer: You seek a great fortune, you three who are now in chains. You will find a fortune, though it will not be the one you seek. But first... first you must travel a long and difficult road, a road fraught with peril. Mm-hmm. You shall see tha...
Narrator: In the period of which we speak, there reigned in the cities a stench barely conceivable to us modern men and women. Naturally, the stench was foulest in Paris, for Paris was the largest city in Europe. And nowhere in Paris was that stench ...
Marjane as a teenager: You say that our scarfs and trousers are indecent and that we put on make up, etc. As an art student, I'm often in the studio. I need to move freely in order to draw. A longer scarf will hinder me. As for our trousers, you say ...
Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: Southern China? We've never even admitted we sent troops into China. General Hummel: Who is this? Identify yourself! Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair: White House Chief of Staff Hayden Sinclair, General. General Hummel: ...
Stanley Goodspeed: Oh, just some terrorists decided to send a little care package. Box of goodies. Which had to be neutralized before blowing up the office... [plucks a harsh note on his guitar] Stanley Goodspeed: So I took the rest of the day off. G...
Raymond: Of course I don't have my underwear. I'm definitely not wearing my underwear. Charlie: I gave you a fresh pair of mine to wear. Where are they? Raymond: They're in the pocket of my jacket. Here. Charlie: I don't want them back. Raymond: Thes...
Charlie Fineman: I don't need to talk about her or look at pictures. 'Cause the truth is, a lot of times, I see her, on the street. I walk down the street, I see her in someone else's face. Clearer than any of the pictures you carry with you. I get t...
Narrator: Michael Squints Palledorous walked a little taller that day. And we had to tip our hats to him. He was lucky she hadn't beat the *crap* out of him. We wouldn't have blamed her. What he'd done was sneaky, rotten, and low... and cool. Not ano...
Marianne: Always resignation and acceptance. Always prudence and honour and duty. Elinor, where is your heart? Elinor Dashwood: What do you know of my heart? What do you know of anything but your own suffering. For weeks, Marianne, I've had this pres...
