Magazine and television advertisements have me subconsciously believing that a sexy airbrushed image can sell a lot more canned tomatoes than without this image. Who’s to say that a dolled up vagina can’t buy me love? Yet this is what we teach ou...
Hey, Pedro, could you get your shopping cart out of my faculty parking space? Yes, I know you live on the street. But you know how hard it is to find a parking spot on the Upper West Side. After all, you used to be one of my best students! So how's t...
Have you any idea how much my kingdom has swollen in this past century alone, how many subdivisions I've had to open?" I opened my mouth to respond, but Hades was on a roll now. More security ghouls," he moaned. "Traffic problems at the judgment pavi...
Hans Gruber: [Hans' radio turns on] I thought I told all of you, I want radio silence until further... John McClane: Ooooh, I'm very sorry Hans. I didn't get that message. Maybe you should've put it on the bulletin board. I figured since I've waxed T...
Mr. Potter: [to George Bailey] Look at you. You used to be so cocky. You were going to go out and conquer the world. You once called me a warped, frustrated, old man! What are you but a warped, frustrated young man? A miserable little clerk crawling ...
Gorgeous George: Get back down or you will not be coming up next time. [watches as Mickey warms up] Gorgeous George: Oh, bollocks to you. This is sick. I'm out of here. Mickey: You're not going anywhere, you thick lump. [Pulls off his shirt] Mickey: ...
Obi-Wan Kenobi: You have allowed this dark lord to twist your mind, until now, until now you've become the very thing you swore to destroy. Anakin Skywalker: Don't lecture me, Obi-Wan! I see through the lies of the Jedi. I do not fear the dark side a...
Supreme Chancellor: [Anakin cuts off Dooku's hands ending the battle. Anakin catches Dooku's lightsabre and ignites it and puts both lightsabres to his neck] Good, Anakin, good. Kill him. [Dooku looks at Palpatine in shock] Supreme Chancellor: Kill h...
Redfoot the Fence: You guys interested in any more work? McManus: We're always looking for extra work. Keaton: We're on vacation. Redfoot the Fence: Well. That's too bad. I got a ton of work and I don't have any good people. Not like you guys. McManu...
Thy husband is thy lord, thy life, thy keeper, Thy head, thy sovereign, one that cares for thee, And for thy maintenance; commits his body To painful labor, both by sea and land; To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou li’st warm...
Ryad: One day I saw a job ad. For security guard. I didn't have a dog, so I bought one secondhand. I didn't know, so I got a rottweiler. Know what they're like? And his name was Tyson. He came with the name Tyson. He was humongous! See this? This was...
Tony Montana: Your guy Alberto... you know he's a piece of shit. I told him to do something he didn't listen to me, so I had to cancel his fucking contract. Alejandro Sosa: My partners and I are pissed off Tony. Tony Montana: That's okay, no big deal...
There are times when I long to sweep away half the things I am expected to learn; for the overtaxed mind cannot enjoy the treasure it has secured at the greatest cost. ... When one reads hurriedly and nervously, having in mind written tests and exami...
