Trapper John: Finished work for the day? Frank Burns: Yes. Why? Trapper John: Good. I was hoping you'd have time tonight to sleep this off. [Trapper punches Burns to the floor and injures his hand just as Colonel Blake and Hotlips walk in] Trapper Jo...
Ransom Stoddard: Marshal, I was wrong the other day. But I was reading up on territorial law, and there it is, right there. Now, I'll draw up the complaint, take care of all the legal details - but you *do* have jurisdiction. Says so right there. So ...
Tina Gray: All day long I've been seeing that guy's weird face and hearing those fingernails. Nancy: Fingernails? That's amazing you saying that. That made me remember the dream I had last night. Tina Gray: What'd you dream? Nancy: I dreamed about a ...
Nancy: [to her father] The killer's still loose, ya know. Donald: You're saying somebody else killed Tina? Who? Nancy: I don't know who he is, but he's burned and he wears a weird hat and a red and green sweater, really dirty. And he uses these knive...
Lawrence: We still goin' fishin' this weekend? Peter Gibbons: Nah, Lumbergh's gonna have me come in on Saturday, I just know it. Lawrence: Well, you can get out of that easily. Peter Gibbons: Yeah? How? Lawrence: Well, when a boss wants you to work o...
[ordered to order Lizzie to accept Mr. Collins's proposal] Mr. Bennet: Your mother insists on you marrying Mr. Collins... Mrs. Bennet: Yes! Or I'll never see her again! Mr. Bennet: Well, Lizzy, from this day henceforth it seems you must be a stranger...
Charlie Burns: My brother's taken a bullet, Stanley, and is in need of medical attention. Captain Stanley: Well, allow me to address the subject of your brother, Mr. Burns. Christmas, as you're probably aware, is fast approaching, and Christmas this ...
Charlie: I just realized I'm not pissed off anymore. My father cut me out of his will. You probably knew he tried to contact me over the years. I never called him back. I was a prick. If he was my son and didn't return my calls, I'd have written him ...
James Hunt: I have a theory why women like racing drivers... It's not because they respect what we do, driving round and round in circles. Mostly they think that's pathetic and they're probably right. It's our closeness to death. You see the closer y...
Immigration Officer #1: Okay, so what do you call yourself? ¿Cómo se llama? Tony Montana: Antonio Montana. And you, what you call yourself? Immigration Officer #2: Where'd you learn to speak the English, Tony? Tony Montana: Uh, in a school. And my ...
Red: [narrating] I have no idea to this day what those two Italian ladies were singing about. Truth is, I don't want to know. Some things are best left unsaid. I'd like to think they were singing about something so beautiful, it can't be expressed in...
John Connor: Wait a minute here. You're telling me that this thing can imitate anything it touches? The Terminator: Anything it samples by physical contact. John Connor: Get real, like it could disguise itself as a pack of cigarettes? The Terminator:...
Oompa Loompas: Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee do / I've got another puzzle for you / Oompa Loompa doo-pa-dee dee / If you are wise you'll listen to me / Gum chewing's fine when it's once in a while / It stops you from smoking and brightens your smile / But ...
Withnail: Right, you fucker, I'm going to do the washing up! Marwood: No, no, you can't. It's impossible, I swear it. I've looked into it. Listen to me, listen to me! There are things in there, there's a tea-bag growing! You haven't slept in sixty ho...
Mark Hanna: You jerk off? How many times a week do you jerk off? Jordan Belfort: Yeah, yeah I jerk off. Uh, I don't know like 2, 3 times a week? Mark Hanna: Ok, you're going to want to raise those numbers. You're in the fucking minor leagues. Me, I j...
Dean Vernon Wormer: Here are your grade point avarages. Mr. Kroger: two C's, two D's and an F. That's a 1.2. Congratulations, Kroger. You're at the top of the Delta pledge class. Mr. Dorfman? Flounder: [drunk] Hello! Dean Vernon Wormer: 0.2... Fat, d...
Amélie: [to blind man] Let me help you. Step down. Here we go! The drum major's widow! She's worn his coat since the day he died. The horse's head has lost an ear! That's the florist laughing. He has crinkly eyes. In the bakery window, lollipops. Sm...
Lizzy: [talking to Lyla on the phone] Lyla? Lyla Novacek: I'm in New York Lizzy: What are you doing in New York Lyla Novacek: It's strange, I've always felt that he was alive. I mean, used to lay in bed at night and I swear I could hear him. I swear ...
Howard Hughes: [doesn't hear what Kate says] Excuse me? Katharine Hepburn: Well, if you're deaf, you must own up to it. Get a hearing aid, or see my father. He's an urologist, but it's all tied up inside the body, don't you find? Howard Hughes: Mmm. ...
Flass: Word on the street is, you got a beef with somebody in the D.A.'s office. Carmine Falcone: Is that right? Flass: And that there's a fat prize waiting for anybody willing to do anything about it. Carmine Falcone: So, what's your point, Mr. Flas...
Old Biff: You always did have a way with women. Young Biff: Get the hell out of my car, old man! Old Biff: You wanna marry that girl, Biff? I can help make it happen. Young Biff: Oh-oh, yeah, who are you, Miss Lonelyhearts? Old Biff: Just get in the ...
