Sexy Stud: So, where're we doin' this thing? Randal Graves: Oh, right inside the restaurant. Sexy Stud: You're kidding. Randal Graves: Not spacious enough? Sexy Stud: No, it's plenty spacious, just kinda weird, isn't it? Randal Graves: Kinda weird? Y...
[Kenny has just died in the hospital] Cartman: I bet him he couldn't do it. I bet him a hundred dollars. Kyle: It's not your fault, Cartman. Cartman: Dude, I know, I'm just fuckin' stoked I don't have to pay him. Kyle: Oh, that's real nice! He was yo...
Walter Sobchak: Now so far, we have what appears to me to be a series of victimless crimes. The Dude: What about the toe? Walter Sobchak: Forget about the fucking toe! Coffee Shop Waitress: Excuse me, sir. Could you please keep your voices down? This...
Nihilist: We believe in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing. And tomorrow we come back and we cut off your chonson. The Dude: Excuse me? Nihilist: I said [shouting] Nihilist: I zaid VE CUT OFF YA JOHNSON! Nihilist #2: Just think about that, Lebowski. Nihilist...
You don't know me, dude," he says, not smiling this time. Gonzo examines his cards, prepping for his next move. "People always think that they know other people, but they don't. Not really. I mean, maybe they know things about them, like they won't e...
You can read minds, and you didn't tell me?” Link stared at me like he just found out I was the Silver Surfer. He rubbed his head nervously. “Hey, man, all that stuff about Lena? I was yankin’ your chain.” He looked away. “Are you doin’ i...
A brick and a blanket could be used as characters in a story full of clever dialogue, such as: Brick: I checked everywhere, and it’s not where I last left it. Did you touch my penis sandwich? Blanket: What? Eww no, why would I touch your peni...
Why would anyone want to fight Henry?" Loondorf looked hurt. "Because he's a ballplayer." "So?" "So he's a baller. He's got cash, chains, crisp clothes. He's got a hat that says Yankees and it's the real deal, yo. He didn't buy it at no yard sale. He...
Something’s up,’ I say, handing the phone back. ‘Not necessarily,’ Jack says. ‘You think this is the first time Lila’s been hot-headed? Seriously, dude, you do remember my sister, right? Short, blonde, impulsive as shock therapy? Stubborn...
I’m nobody’s sidekick,” Annabeth growled. “And, Percy, his accent sounds familiar because he sounds like his mother. We killed her in New Jersey.” Percy frowned. “I’m pretty sure that accent isn’t New Jersey. Who’s his—? Oh.” It...
It can pay off, being a hack. Given the depraved state of American culture, a slick dude can make millions being a hack. But even if you succeed, you lose, because you've sold out your Muse, and your Muse is you, the best part of yourself, where your...
Frank couldn't breathe underwater. But where was he? Percy turned in a full circle. Nothing. Then he glanced up. Hovering above him was a giant goldfish. Frank had turned -clothes, backpack, and all- into a koi the size of a teen-aged boy. "dude." Pe...
The only people who can ever put ideas into context are people who don't care; the unbiased and apathetic are usually the wisest dudes in the room. If you want to totally misunderstand why something is supposedly important, find the biggest fan of th...
Andrew Largeman: Dude, we've been patient all day but it's my last day in town and you haven't told us what we're doing. I mean, if you had told me we'd be going on a six-hour scavenger hunt for blow I would've passed. Mark: Come on, please. If I was...
Humbert Humbert: [Referring to Quilty] What happened to this Oriental-minded genius? When you left the hospital, where did he take you? Lolita Haze: To New Mexico. Humbert Humbert: Whereabouts in New Mexico? Lolita Haze: To a dude ranch near Santa Fe...
Cartman: Hey dudes! Kyle: What's the matter Cartman? Cartman: It's this V-Chip, I hate it! I can't say any dirty words Kyle: Really? So you can't say Fuck? Cartman: No! Kyle: And you can't say Shit? Cartman: No! Kyle: So you can't say I'm Eric Cartma...
[the Warriors successfully made it on the train at the Gun Hill Road subway stop just seconds before the Turnbull A.C.'s storm an attack on the gang] Cowboy: [cheering] Whoo! All right, Warriors! [cheering continues] Vermin: Them cats were some despe...
Maude Lebowski: It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people - it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women - who engage in it compulsively and without joy. ...
Normally when I tell people I'm a gender studies major, they look at me like I'm studying Sanskrit or Latin. But now, NOW I had something to show my family, to possibly convince them that one day I would be employable. Look! People still like feminis...
Did you finish yours, Kota?" "Working on it now, Actually." "How's it going?" He sat up, turning in his chair and holding up his notebook. "I don't know. What rhymes with formaldehyde?" My eyes widened. Gabriel laughed, rubbing his fingers against hi...
He walked over to Isaac and grabbed him by the shoulders. “Dude, pillows don’t break. Try something that breaks.” Isaac reached for a basketball trophy from the shelf above the bed and then held it over his head as if waiting for permission. �...
