Timothy Bryce: [after snorting "cut" cocaine] It's a fucking milligram of sweetener. I want to get high off this, not sprinkle it on my fucking oatmeal. Patrick Bateman: Definitely weak, but I have a feeling that if we do enough of it we'll be okay. ...
When getting my nose in a book Cured most things short of school, It was worth ruining my eyes To know I could still keep cool, And deal out the old right hook To dirty dogs twice my size. Later, with inch-thick specs, Evil was just my lark: Me and m...
What do you think that fish is?' Sam asked Astrid. She peered closely at the alleged fish. 'I think that's an example of ,' she said. 'Yeah?' Sam made a face. 'Do you think it's okay to eat?' Astrid sighed theatrically. ' ? Inedible? Joke, duh. Try t...
Michael: 'Hey, remember when I almost didn't let you into the house that first day you came?' Claire: 'Yep' Michael: 'Well, I was dead wrong. Maybe I never said that out loud before, but I mean it, Claire. All that's happened since... we wouldn't hav...
Now, it’s undeniably true that male writers (including yours truly) are generally and commercially allowed to write about “girl stuff” without being penalized for doing so. In part this is the same old shit it’s always been ... I’ve said be...
I still dream to quiver rich, And we still tremble poor. Over, under, Madam and Bitch, To each, her John Does floor. Grieved cliche to ban the kiss, And yet we all refuse. To add one name onto our lists, Of cants, and don'ts, and dudes. Unuttered sig...
Dave Lizewski: That's not me, by the way. That's some Armenian dude with a history of mental health problems. Who am I? I'm kick ass! [six months earlier] Dave Lizewski: That's me. Back before any of this crazy shit happened. I guess I'm the last per...
Drew: Hey, isn't that the girl that works over at Chotchkie's? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Drew: Hmmm. Who's SHE here with? Peter Gibbons: She's with me. Drew: Really? Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Drew: All right, Peter! Ooh! Ooh! Right on... Make sure you wear a r...
Michael rose to his feet and padded down the last few steps silently, came up behind Kim, and leaned over her to say, “I vant to drink your blood” in a heavy, fake-Dracula accent. She shrieked, flailed, and a zombie ate her brains on-screen. You ...
Eric Draven: MURDERER! Tin Tin: I didn't murder nobody man. I don't even fucking know you, man. What the fuck you want, man? Eric Draven: I want you to tell me a story: A man and a woman in a loft a year ago. Tin Tin: You're outta your fucking mind. ...
Isaac: Augustus Waters was a cocky son of a bitch. But we forgive him. Not because of his super-human good looks or because he only got 19 years when he should have gotten way more. Augustus Waters: 18 years, buddy. Isaac: Dude, come on, really? I'm ...
King: [while cleaning the latrines] I'm too short for this shit, man. 39 and a wake-up, a pause for the cause and I'm a gone motherfucker. Back to the world! Crawford: Hey, I broke a hundred the other day, 92 left to go. April 17th, home to Californi...
Fuck it,” said Private First Class Chris Barnes, raising his hand. “Let’s do it. This sounds like a great fucking idea. Who wants to get blown up?” They started laughing. Watt, Barker, Cortez, and Private First Class Shane Hoeck all raised th...
I smack myself in the forehead. “Holy priceless collection of Etruscan snoods, they’re not moving!” I exclaim. There’s a choking noise over my head somewhere. “Etruscan snoods?” I glow quietly inside. Some accomplishments mean more than o...
Kyle: Ok. Let's try this one more time. Ready, Ike? Kick the baby! Ike Broflovski: Don't kick the baby. Kyle: Kick the baby! [Kicks Ike through a window, causing it to shatter] Sheila Broflovski: Ike! You broke ANOTHER window! That's a bad baby! Baaa...
Tayla cursed under her breath. "I was just explaining to Eidolon that Sin is a Smurfette." Wraith swung his big body around to study Sin with blue eyes that were very different from Shade's, E's. and Lore's. Sin's, too. "Nah. Smurfette is way hotter....
When did you first feel like a grown woman and not a girl?” We wrote down our answers and shared them, first in pairs, then in larger groups. The group of women was racially and economically diverse, but the answers had a very similar theme. Almost...
Randal Graves: Man, you must love this fucking guy, 'cause he's the biggest pussy I ever met, the dude who lives his life according to everyone else's standards. "I have to go down to Florida and get married because that what's expected of me." And t...
Raymond: Yo, uncle! Dexter: Come look at this! Zeus: [looks at watch] It's ten after nine. Why aren't you in school? Raymond: Tony wants to sell you this. Zeus: Tony? That no-neck dude they call "Bad T"? Dexter: He says he found it in a dumpster. Zeu...
[Doug comes into the Sidewinder convience store without a shirt on] Doug: What's up, Josh? Hey, give me two packs of cigarettes today. Working overtime, sixteen hours. [Puts malt liquor bottle on the counter] Doug: And nature's nectar. Wake-up juice....
Bunny: Hey Junior, you never smoked any shit? Junior: That's right, dude. See, y'all been trying to keep the black man down, and string him out on that shit. But the time be's comin, my man, when the black man? Throw that yoke off. Simple - free your...
