Headache!" Zeus bellowed. "Bad. bad headache!" As if to prove his point, the lord of the universe slammed his face into his pancakes, which demolished the pancakes and the plate and put a crack in the table, but did nothing for his headache. "Aspirin...
I better go," Carter squeezed me once more and stood, grabbing his wallet from the coffee table. "I need to hit up the lottery if I want to get you out of this mess. Will you let me buy a monkey if we win, though?" "Only if you buy me an island off t...
That she made a point to eat only the gristliest chicken bits, the burned biscuits, the mealiest potatoes, while she complained that his children were, variously, weak-minded, hysterical or sickly, and seemed to imply that such afflictions were the r...
I knew that iridium-193 was one of two stable isotopes of iridium, a very rare, very dense metal, but I didn't know that the periodic table even existed. I knew how many zeroes there were in a quintillion, but I thought that algebra lived in ponds. I...
You all know and lived the 'secrets' to De La Salle's success-love, brotherhood, sacrifice, discipline, heart, courage, passion, honesty. These are not just 'catch words' we throw around to impress others or justify our existence. We know what these ...
I will admit that I wanted to shout for standing on the top of a scaffold in front of a good new wall always goes to my head. It is a sensation something between that of an angel let out of his cage into a new sky and a drunkard turned loose in a roy...
We know one another. This is the present. There is no past and no future. Here I am washing my hands, and the cracked mirror shows me to myself, suspended as it were, in time; this is me, this moment will not pass. And then I open the door and go to ...
I am a Christian - but sometimes I feel very removed from Christianity. The Jesus Christ that I believe in was the man who turned over the tables in the temple and threw the money-changers out - substitute T.V. evangelists if you like…why in the We...
There is no water in oxygen, no water in hydrogen: it comes bubbling fresh from the imagination of the living God, rushing from under the great white throne of the glacier. The very thought of it makes one gasp with an elemental joy no metaphysician ...
Daisy Werthan: [on the phone, trying to get a ride to her hair appointment] Well, I need you now, I have to be at the beauty parlor in half an hour... no, I most certainly did NOT know you have to call a minimum of three hours ahead! I don't know why...
Don Zaluchi: I also don't believe in drugs. For years I paid my people extra so they wouldn't do that kind of business. Somebody comes to them and says, "I have powders; if you put up three, four thousand dollar investment, we can make fifty thousand...
Melvin Udall: I might be the only person on the face of the earth that knows you're the greatest woman on earth. I might be the only one who appreciates how amazing you are in every single thing that you do, and how you are with Spencer, "Spence," an...
Gobber: [Slapping a thick book on the table] The Dragon Manual. Everything we know about every dragon we know of. [Thunder rumbles] Gobber: No attacks tonight. Study up. Tuffnut: Wait, you mean *read*? Ruffnut: While we're still alive? Snotlout: Why ...
Jack Crabb: Uh, Mr. Hickock, how many men have you... gunned down? Wild Bill Hickock: I don't rightly remember. You? Jack Crabb: Oh, about two dozen. Wild Bill Hickock: Is that a fact? Jack Crabb: [voiceover] No, it wasn't a fact. In my gunfighter pe...
Jean: Nemo, do I matter to you? I'd just like to ask you one question. Did you do it on purpose? I found this on the bedside table. [reads note] Jean: There comes a time in life where everything seems narrow. Choices have been made. I can only contin...
Bill: At my cousin Ruthie's wedding, the groom's brother was that guy Alakazam. You know who I'm talking about? Stan: The magician with the ponytail? Bill: Right. Well, he did his act, and every time he made something disappear, Vinny jumped on him. ...
Bob Slydell: Would you bear with me for just a second, please? Peter Gibbons: OK. Bob Slydell: What if - and believe me this is a hypothetical - but what if you were offered some kind of a stock option equity sharing program. Would that do anything f...
Marv: It wasn't you losers who killed Goldie. The guy who did that knew what he was doing. Still, you got to have something to tell me. Like who it was who sent you. [Marv pistol whips him] Marv: I don't hear you giving me any name, jerk. Guess when ...
John Bender: What're we having? Brian Johnson: Uh, it's your standard, regular lunch I guess... [Bender reaches in the bag and pulls out a thermos. He sets it on the table and points at it] John Bender: Milk? Brian Johnson: Uh, soup. John Bender: Ah....
Toward nightfall, Khrenov’s temperature had risen. The thermometer was warm, alive—the column of mercury climbed high on the little red ladder. For a long time he muttered unintelligibly, kept biting his lips and gently shaking his head. Then he ...
I told her if she really cared about me, then she’d let me do whatever I wanted for my birthday, just like Mom did when I was twelve.” “What happened when you were twelve?” “Oh, Mom offered to take us all out for dinner—us girls, Dad was ...