Rebecca: Oh! It's that comedian I was telling you about. [she turns up the volume on her television, which is showing an odd-looking man performing stand-up comedy] Rebecca: See this bit, it's the absolute worst. Joey McCobb, the Stand Up Comic: [on ...
Bill: He'll accept you as his student. The Bride: Caught him in a good mood, aye? Bill: More like a sadistic one. Just seeing those steps again makes me ache. You're gonna have plenty of fun carrying buckets of water up and down that fucker. The Brid...
Ted Kramer: [while Billy brings ice cream to the table] You go right back and put that right back until you finish your dinner... I'm warning you, you take one bite out of that and you are in big trouble. Don't... Hey! Don't you dare... Don't you DAR...
Frank T.J. Mackey: In this big game that we play, life, it's not what you hope for, it's not what you deserve, it's what you take. I'm Frank T.J. Mackey, a master of the muffin and author of the Seduce and Destroy system now available to you on video...
Vinny Gambini: [Vinny is the lawyer, but Stan thinks he is there to sodomize him] Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' fucked one way or the other. [Stan tries to get up] Vinny Gambini: Hey, relax, I'm gonna help you. Stan: Gee thanks. Vinny ...
Wez: [after someone is killed] *No!* *No more talk!* We go in! We kill! Kill! We kill 'em! They kill us, we kill them! Kill 'em! Kill 'em! Kill! Kill! The Humungus: Be still my dog of war. I understand your pain. We've all lost someone we love. But w...
Carla Jean Moss: [the cab is stopped outside the depot. Carla Jean and her mother and the driver are at the trunk struggling over bags] I got it Mama. Carla Jean's Mother: I didn't see my Prednisone. Carla Jean Moss: I put it in, Mama. Carla Jean's M...
Nancy: MOTHER! What's with the bars? Marge: Security. Nancy: Security? SECURITY FROM WHAT? Marge: Not from what: From whom. Come down to the cellar. You wanna know who Fred Krueger was? He was a filthy child murderer, who killed at least 20 kids in t...
Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars? Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man. Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time? Lawrence: Damn st...
Ryad: One day I saw a job ad. For security guard. I didn't have a dog, so I bought one secondhand. I didn't know, so I got a rottweiler. Know what they're like? And his name was Tyson. He came with the name Tyson. He was humongous! See this? This was...
Officer Dunn: Who the fuck left Danny Boy out in the sun? [Taking a piss] Officer Dunn: Hey, Jacko, you lazy bugger, I told you to bury that bastard last night. He stinks worse than you. Jacko! Two Bob: You got the wrong fuckin' black man. Arthur Bur...
Walter Fane: I knew when I married you that you were selfish and spoiled. But I loved you. I knew you only married me to get as far away from your mother as possible. And I hoped that one day... there'd be something more. I was wrong. You don't have ...
Nice Guy Eddie: C'mon, throw in a buck! Mr. Pink: Uh-uh, I don't tip. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't tip? Mr. Pink: Nah, I don't believe in it. Nice Guy Eddie: You don't believe in tipping? Mr. Blue: You know what these chicks make? They make shit. Mr. Pi...
James T. Kirk: Let me explain what's happening here: you are a criminal! I watched you murder innocent men and women! I was authorized to *end* you! And the only reason why you are still alive is because I am allowing it. So *shut your mouth*! Khan: ...
[Terrell disobeys Khan's order to kill Kirk, who taunts Khan over the communicator] Kirk: Khan, you bloodsucker! You're going to have to do your own dirty work now! Do you hear me? Do you? Khan: Kirk? Kirk, you're still alive, my old friend? Kirk: St...
[Salim and Jamal are sitting on the edge of an apartment floor, under construction] Older Salim: That... used to be our slum. Can you believe that, huh? [pointing at something] Older Salim: We used to live right there, man. Now, it's all business. In...
Captain Hadley: So this big shot lawyer calls me long distance from Texas. I say "Yeah?" He says, "Sorry to inform you, but your brother just died." Guard Mert: Oh damn, Byron, I'm sorry to hear that. Captain Hadley: I'm not, he was an asshole. Ran o...
Eli Sunday: You are a stupid man, Abel. You've let someone come in here and walk all over us. You let him in and do his work here, and you are a stupid man for what we could have had. Abel Sunday: I followed His word, Eli. I tried. Eli Sunday: You di...
Plainview: I want you to look over there. [points towards H.W] H.M. Tilford: Daniel, let me introduce you... Plainview: Look over there. You see? That's my son. You see him? H.M. Tilford: Yes. Plainview: You SEE? H.M. Tilford: I see him. Plainview: Y...
[Judge Doom about to "dip" Roger] Eddie Valiant: Hey, Judge. Doesn't a dying rabbit deserve a last request? Roger Rabbit: Yeah, nose plugs would be nice. Eddie Valiant: I think you want a drink. So, how about it, Judge? Judge Doom: Well, why not? I d...
Sally Aiken: Ken Clawson told me he wrote the Canuck letter. Carl Bernstein: The letter that said Muskie was slurring the Canadians. Bob Woodward: Clawson. Carl Bernstein: The deputy director of White House communications wrote the Canuck letter. Whe...
