And soon we were just rolling around on the ground, cursing and screeching and ripping out handfuls of hair. Without super hearing, I wouldn't have heard Zeb whisper, "This is the coolest thing I have ever seen." "Maybe they'll get muddy," Dick said....
Dr. Pervy-Pants Dr. Depravity Dr. Ain't-Puttin'-Out Dr. Bossy-as-Fuck Dr. Obsessive-Compulsive Dr. Kinkybones Dr. Deviant Dr. Oh-So-Proper-I-Iron-My-Jeans Dr. Lick-My-Boots Dr. Smug-as-Shit Dr. Love-Me-Love-My-Butt-Nozzle Dr. Damn-Your-Dick-is-Mother...
I've always said women make the best agents. Deceit comes naturally to them. It's hardly surprising: If you were born with a little hole half the population could stick its dick into whenever if felt like it you'd learn deceit too. Biology is destiny...
Is Ahab, Ahab? Is it I, God, or who, that lifts this arm? But if the great sun move not of himself; but is an errand-boy in heaven; nor one single star can revolve, but by some invisible power; how then can this one small heart beat; this one small b...
(from his random observations after reading David Copperfield by Charles Dickens) In the Old Curiosity Shop I discovered that in the character of Dick Swiveller, Dickens provided P.G. Wodehouse with pretty much the whole of his oeuvre. In David Coppe...
Condoms seemed to her inherently wicked. But they were also inherently funny. They were like rubber gloves with only one finger, and every time she saw one she had to be severe with herself or she’d get the giggles, a terrifying thought because the...
Cannibals? Who is not a cannibal? I tell you it will be more tolerable for the Fejee that salted down a lean missionary in his cellar against a coming famine; it will be more tolerable for that provident Fejee, I say, in the day of judgement, than fo...
I don't care that people thought I was one way for my whole career because now that I am not attached to a team, I can have my own opinion, I can have my own voice. I can link myself to my own thought process rather than a generic message most teams ...
Frank Costello: I'm concerned about a Chinaman who thinks it's wise to come to a business transaction with automatic weapons. [to the Chinese translator] Frank Costello: For his own good, tell Bruce Lee and the Karate Kids none of us are carrying aut...
[while mourning Radio Raheem, who just got choked to death by the cops] Coconut Sid: It ain't safe in our own fucking neighborhood! Never was. Never will be. Sweet Dick Willie: We ain't gonna stand for this shit no more, Sal. Ain't gonna stand for no...
William 'Wild Bill' Wharton: [Percy, zombie-like, approaches Wild Bill] Boy, watchu lookin' at? Watchu lookin' at? You limp noodle. Ya wanna kiss my ass? Ya wanna suck my dick? [the two stare at each other for a moment. Two tears fall from Percy's ey...
Dave Moss: Cop couldn't find his dick with two hands and a map. Ricky Roma: What'd he beat you with his rubber bat? Dave Moss: He's got no right. Cop's got no right to speak to me like that. Ricky Roma: You gonna turn state's Dave Moss: Fuck you, Ric...
Rob: Just c'mon. What would it mean to you, that sentence - "I haven't seen Evil Dead II, yet"? Barry: Well, to me it would mean you were a liar. You've seen it twice: once with Laura - Oops! - and once with me and Dick, remember? We had that convers...
Pimp Lester: [threatening Oleg with a knife] Now I'm gonna put a smile on your face, boy... cheek to cheek. You're gonna be the happiest little brat in school. Say cheese. [Divina knocks Lester out from behind] Divina: Who's laughing now, you fucking...
Evan: You could always subscribe to a site like Perfect Ten. I mean that could be anything, it could be a bowling site. Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern. Evan: Right, I didn't realize that. Seth: Besides,...
Warden Samuel Norton: [to new inmates, after explaining the prison routine] Any questions? Prisoner: When do we eat? Captain Hadley: [Approaches prisoner] You eat when we say you eat. You piss when we say you piss, and you shit when we say you shit. ...
Jordan Belfort: [in thoughts] What I'm asking, you Swiss dick, is are you going to fuck me over? Jean Jacques Saurel: [also in thoughts] I understand perfectly, you American shit, Jean Jacques Saurel: Ça depend. Jordan Belfort: Ça depend on what ex...
Sam: Why do you act like a dick all the time? Do you just do it to antagonize people? Mike Shiner: Maybe. Sam: You really don't give a shit if people like you or not? Mike Shiner: Not really. Sam: That's cool. Mike Shiner: Is it? I don't know.
I woke up with a heart attack just out of my field of vision and with my dick in my hand, saying, I love you I love you I love you over and over...And that my dear sweet love of my life, is how things were without you and I'd done everything I could ...
Also, I do seem attracted to trash, as if the clue--the clue--lies there. I'm always ferreting out elliptical points, odd angles. What I write doesn't make a whole lot of sense. There is fun and religion and psychotic horror strewn about like a bunch...
What are you doing?” he gasped. He looked slightly ridiculous. It was not as if he was a defenseless damsel in distress. He could have stopped me, if he wanted to. But he didn’t want to. Besides, I’ve always considered this to be the most idiot...
