Gru: Huh... You usually don't see that in bunnies.
Gru: I'm just chillin' with my guac from my chip hat.
Agnes: Eat jelly, you purple freaks!
Lucy: What is wrong with that chicken? Hey, that pollo es loco.
Margo: [to Gru; glaring at Antonio] I hate boys. Gru: Yes, they stink.
A man must make himself despicable before he is despised by others.
There are so many ways of being despicable it quite makes one’s head spin. But the way to be really despicable is to be contemptuous of other people’s pain.
Silas: I am the league's director, Silas Ramsbottom. Additional Minions: [giggles] Bottom. [laughs] Silas: Hilarious.
Gru: [to Dr. Nefario] Just because everybody hates it doesn't mean it's not good.
Gru: [sprays Jillian with the hose; dryly] I'm sorry, I did not see you there, [sprays her again] Gru: or there.
Margo: Hey, what celebrity do you look like? Gru: Uh, Bruce Willis. Margo: Mmm, no. Agnes: Humpty Dumpty! Edith: Ooh, Gollum!
[Agent Lucy sends Gru, completely soaked and with a starfish stuck to his head, out of the car trunk of her spy car] Gru: [weakly] Pins and needles!
Lucy: [Tied to a rocket] Oh, hey, Gru! Turns out you were right about the whole El Macho thing, huh? [mildly] Lucy: Yay.
Gru: The highest honor awarded to Dr. Nefario for your years of service, the 21-fart gun salute! [21 fart guns fire] Dr. Nefario: [coughs] Uh, I counted 22.
Eduardo: I'm not afraid of your jelly guns. Dr. Nefario: Oh, this ain't no jelly gun, sunshine. [uses the fart gun on El Macho to knock him out cold from the smell of the stench]
Additional Minions: Kevin? Additional Minions: Hm? Tom? Hello! Additional Minions: Kampai! Additional Minions: Kampai! Additional Minions: [Syringe comes down and Tom looks at it smiling] Huh? Kampai! [Tom hits the syringe with a banana]
Gru: Oh, attitude. That's right. So thanks but no thanks. And here's a tip: Instead of tasing people and kidnapping them, maybe you should give them a call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt. Silas: Ramsbottom. Gru: [chuckles sarcastically] Yeah, like that's ...
Gru: [in falsetto] It is I, Gru- [pauses] Gru: zinkerbell, the most magical faerie princess of all! Young Boy: [interrupts] How come you're so fat? Gru: [annoyed] Because my house is made out of candy, and sometimes, [while hitting boy with wand] Gru...
Agnes: [after rehearing for the Mother's Day play] I don't think I should do this. Gru: Well, what do you mean? Why not? Agnes: I don't even have a mom. Gru: Well, you don't need one to do the show. I mean, you did the Veteran's Day pageant and you h...
Lucy: [to herself] I choose Gru. [to the stewardess] Lucy: I choose Gru! [runs to the plane's emergency hatch and opens it] Lucy: Thank you, Gru-stewardess! Flight Attendant: You're welcome! [Lucy jumps out of the plane and presses the clasp of her p...
Gru: I hate that guy.
