[a knock at the door] Alexander Rance: It's open. Top marks for speed, no marks for cookery. [holding plate with egg] Alexander Rance: What, may I ask, do you call this? Michael Sullivan: Put it down. Alexander Rance: Mr. Sullivan! Michael Sullivan: ...
Remy: Hey, I brought you something to... [sees Emile eating garbage] Remy: AH! NO, NO, NO, NO! SPIT THAT OUT RIGHT NOW! [Emile obeys] Remy: [sighs] I have *got* to teach you about food. Close your eyes. [Emile obeys; Remy holds out piece of cheese] R...
Lisa: What's he doing? Cleaning house? Jeff: He's washing and scrubbing down the bathroom walls. Stella: Must've splattered a lot. [both Jeff and Lisa look at Stella with disgust] Stella: Come on, that's what were all thinkin'. He killed her in there...
IRS Agent Stewart: Your income, Mr Court, hasn't changed substantially in seventeen years. Jim Court: That's right. IRS Agent Stewart: Why would you stay so long with an operation that is so clearly not a growth enterprise? Jim Court: Taking care of ...
Donkey: Okay, so here's another question: Say there's a woman who digs you, right, but you really don't like her THAT quick - now how do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? How do you...
Dr. John Watson: [Holmes is firing a gun in the house] Mrs Hudson. Mrs. Hudson: I won't go in there by myself, not while he's got a gun in his hand! Dr. John Watson: You don't have to go in there at all. Mrs. Hudson: What will I do when you leave, do...
Cyrus Cole: [telling about his hook hand] Twelve years ago God looked down on me, and He said Cyrus, you're a bad, stupid, selfish man. First I'm gonna fill your body with spirits. Then I'm gonna put you behind the wheel of a car. Then I'm gonna have...
Heywood: It's a fine morning, ain't it? You know why it's a fine morning, don't ya? Come on, set 'em down. I want 'em all lined up, just like a pretty little chorus line. [the cons pull out cigarettes and hand them over to Heywood, who lines them up ...
Rosco: [after a take] We're really rolling, Mr. Simpson. R.F. Simpson: Well, you can stop rolling at once. Rosco: What? R.F. Simpson: Don, Lina. Rosco: Ok, everybody save it! R.F. Simpson: Save it? Tell them to go home. We're shutting down for a few ...
[Jonas Skat is in a tree which Death is cutting down] Jonas Skat: Hey, you scurvy knave, what are you doing with my tree? You might at least answer. Who are you? Death: I'm felling your tree. Your time is up. Jonas Skat: You can't. I haven't time. De...
Professor Moriaty: Rest assured, if you attempt to bring destruction down upon me, I shall do the same to you. My respect for you, Mr. Holmes, is the only reason you are still alive. Sherlock Holmes: You've paid me several compliments. Let me pay you...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] The history of the world, my love... Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Save a lot of graves, does a lot of relatives favors. Sweeney Todd: Is those below serving those up above. Mrs. Lovett: Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of fla...
Buzz Lightyear #2: Will somebody *please* explain what's going on? Buzz Lightyear: It's all right, Space Ranger. It's a code 546. Buzz Lightyear #2: [gasps] You mean it's a...? Buzz Lightyear: Yes. Buzz Lightyear #2: And he's a...? Buzz Lightyear: Oh...
Woody: [Woody is trying to find directions to Andy's house on Bonnie's mother's computer. Suddenly a chat window pops up, and Woody reads the username of its sender] Who's "Velocistar237"...? Trixie: [knocks Woody aside and starts typing frantically]...
Prescott: [Plainview has just left a town meeting] Mr. Plainview! No! Where are you going? Plainview: I don't need the lease, thank you. Prescott: We need you, we need you to... Plainview: Too much confusion! Thank you for your time. Prescott: No, no...
[LeBoeuf is spanking Mattie] Mattie Ross: Are you gonna let him do this? Rooster Cogburn: I don't believe I will. Drop that switch, LaBoeuf. Put it down, I said. You're enjoying it too much. LaBoeuf: You'll find I go ahead with what I start. Rooster ...
[the other outlaws have left, Mattie heats water on the fire] Tom Chaney: What are you doin'? Mattie Ross: I'm getting some water so I can wash my hands. Tom Chaney: A liitle smut won't hurt you. Mattie Ross: That's true - or else you and your chums ...
Wyatt Earp: [Tyler reaches for his gun] Go ahead, skin it! Skin that smokewagon and see what happens... Johnny Tyler: [pauses, scared] M-mister, I'm gettin' tired of your... Wyatt Earp: [slaps Tyler across the face, unafraid] I'm gettin' tired of all...
Buzz: I just want you to know that even though you tried to terminate me, revenge is not an idea we promote on my planet. Woody: Oh. Well, that's good. Buzz: But we're not on my planet, are we? Woody: No. Daaaah-oof! Buzz: [he attacks Woody] Woody: O...
David St. Hubbins: I do not, for one, think that the problem was that the band was down. I think that the problem *may* have been, that there was a Stonehenge monument on the stage that was in danger of being *crushed* by a *dwarf*. Alright? That ten...
Dave Kujan: First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever's sleeping is your man. You see, if you're guilty, ...
