Malone: OK, pal, why the mahaska? Why are you carrying the gun? Ness: I'm a treasury officer. Malone: Alright. Just remember what we talked about now. [Malone walks away] Ness: Hey, wait a minute! What the hell kind of policemen you got in this god d...
Charles Muntz: You know Carl, these people who come here, they all tell pretty good stories. [He walks to a row of human skulls on a shelf, each of which is wearing a hat of some kind] Charles Muntz: A surveyor making a map... [he knocks over the fir...
Pike Bishop: [talking about the railroad] There was a man named Harrigan. Used to have a way of doin' things. I made him change his ways. A hell of a lot of people, Dutch, just can't stand to be wrong. Dutch Engstrom: Pride. Pike Bishop: And they can...
Teddy: [looking around Hamilton's study] Such a beautiful room, it's hard to imagine a man's scream from here. Ever seen fingernails ripped out with a rusty pliers, Sir John, hmm? All your learning, and you still don't understand. Sir John Hamilton: ...
Homer, the aged poet: Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman. With time, those who listened to me became my readers. They no longer sit in a circl...
Sergeant Howie: What religion can they possibly be learning jumping over bonfires? Lord Summerisle: Parthenogenesis. Sergeant Howie: What? Lord Summerisle: Literally, as Miss Rose would doubtless say in her assiduous way, reproduction without sexual ...
Tom Conlon: So you gonna ask about her, or you just gonna sit there all sober? Paddy Conlon: I know. Tom Conlon: Oh you know. What do you know? You know it wasn't enough to drive west to get away from you? When we hit the water we drove north, too. P...
Cyrus: The problem in the past has been the man turning us against one another. We have been unable to see the truth, because we have fighting for ten square feet of ground, our turf, our little piece of turf. That's crap, brothers! The turf is ours ...
[first lines] Paikea: In the old days, the land felt a great emptiness. It was waiting. Waiting to be filled up. Waiting for someone to love it. Waiting for a leader. [child birth scene] Paikea: And he came on the back of a whale. A man to lead a new...
Donnie Azoff: I got a couple of mil' comin' in like a week. And when it gets in, I'll give you a call and you come pick it up. Brad: You'll give me a call? Donnie Azoff: When it gets here, I'll give you a call and you'll come pick it up. Chantalle: W...
Erik Lehnsherr: A man from the future came to me. Raven: Don't lie to me! Erik Lehnsherr: I never have, and I never will! He said the humans would take your blood and use it as a weapon against us, to wipe us all out! Raven: In that case, how'd you l...
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: From that fateful day when stinking bits of slime first crawled from the sea and shouted to the cold stars, "I am man.", our greatest dread has always been the knowledge of our mortality. But tonight, we shall hurl the gau...
Robert Graysmith: [reading] I like killing people because it is so much fun. It is more fun than killing wild game in the forest, because man is the most dangerous animal of all. To kill something is the most thrilling experience. It is even better t...
Pvt. William Jones: What's he up to, 593? Pte. Robert Jones: Oh, I think he wants to be hero, 716. Cpl. Frederic Schiess, NNC: Haven't you rednecks got names instead of numbers? Pte. Robert Jones: 'Tis a Welsh regiment, man! Though there are some for...
Claudia: I don't understand. He meets a girl that can give him a new life and he pushes her away? Guido: Because he no longer believes in it. Claudia: Because he doesn't know how to love. Guido: Because it isn't true that a woman can change a man. Cl...
Charlie Kaufman: [voice over] Okay, we open with Laroche. He's funny. Okay. He says, "I love to mutate plants". He says "Mutation is fun". Okay, we show flowers and... okay. We have to have the court case. Okay, we show Laroche. Okay, he says "I was ...
William Miller: [on meeting Stillwater] Russell. Jeff. Ed. Larry. I really love your band. I think the song "Fever Dog" is a big step forward for you guys. I think you guys producing it yourselves, instead of Glyn Johns, was the right thing to do. An...
Parnell Emmett McCarthy: Twelve people go off into a room: twelve different minds, twelve different hearts, from twelve different walks of life; twelve sets of eyes, ears, shapes, and sizes. And these twelve people are asked to judge another human be...
Chef: This Colonel guy? He's wacko, man! He's worse than crazy. He's evil. It's fuckin' pagan idolatry. Look around you. Shit! He's loco... I ain't afraid of all them fuckin' skulls and altars and shit. I used to think if I died in an evil place, the...
Real Harvey: [the real Harvey Pekar introduces his on-screen character] OK. This guy here, he's our man, all grown up and going nowhere. Although he's a pretty scholarly cat, he never got much of a formal education. For the most part, he's lived in s...
Henri Ducard: Your parents' death was not your fault. [Bruce attacks Ducard with his sword] Henri Ducard: It was your father's. [Bruce furiously attacks Ducard, but is easily defeated] Henri Ducard: Anger does not change the fact that your father fai...
