There’s not a person alive who is ugly. Now dead people, they disgust me.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeLove is an art. Mine could fill a museum the size of your heart.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI make art like I make love—slowly, so I get the most for my money.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI’m going on vacation, and I’m leaving my clone in charge. I’ll be gone, but I’ll be here.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeWhen I jog it’s like a dancing dog. Well, it’s more of a foxtrot.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeWhen all the trees are dead, I’ll be there, drinking freshly squeezed orange juice.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeYou know what I like most about people? Pets.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI would be an organ donor, but I’d much rather donate a piano.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI don't want to be tied down in a relationship, I want to be tied down during sex.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeThe dollar isn’t worth its weight in gold, and the pound isn’t worth its weight in ounces.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI’m a handyman. I work with my hand. I masturbate for a living. That’s right, I’m in politics.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeIt’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeLast night the secrets of the universe were revealed to me, and they had nipples.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeYou can’t be the best all the time. But that’s what clones are for—to be you while you sleep.
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeI make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in Alaska).
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your LifeWomen are called the fairer sex. Are they just not as tan, or are they actually more reasonable?
Who Moved My Choose?: An Amazing Way to Deal With Change by Deciding to Let Indecision Into Your Life