One of the things I learned as a young semiotics nerd was that if you have plot moving forward, no matter how banal the facts of it, simply the fact that the plot is rolling forward makes you wonder what's going to happen next, which creates suspense...
I don't gamble anymore since I had a kid. I have fun in Vegas. I see shows, Cirque du Soleil. Don Rickles was in town last time I was there. I'll have lunch with George Wallace. I just look in the Weekly calendar and see who's performing, and inevita...
Diner Fight Guy 1: The fuck is wrong with you, man? You'd rather die for some piece of shit that you don't even fucking know? Dave Lizewski: The three assholes, laying into one guy while everybody else watches? And you wanna know what's wrong with me...
Dave Lizewski: Jesus, guys, doesn't it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman. Marty: Yeah, what's with that? She has like no tits at all. Todd: Maybe it's the porn tape, he doesn't have a porn tape. M...
Dave Lizewski: I'll be honest, there wasn't a whole lot of crime-fighting in those first few weeks. But even so, my new vocation kept me plenty busy. I called it preparation. But if you called it fantasizing, it would've been hard to argue. All I kne...
Fifteen minutes later, a meeting was called. "Okay, look." Deb's face was dead serious. "I know I just joined this project, and I don't want to offend anyone. But I'm going to be honest. I think you've been going about this all wrong." "I'm offended,...
Do you want to be with Dave for the rest of your life?” Then he rips off a piece of paper and picks up the smallest charcoal stick from my set. He writes something. He passes it over to me. It says: Time will tell. “And while you’re waiting,”...
I am convinced that the deepest desire within each of us is to be liberated from the controlling influences of our own psychic madness or patterns of fear. All other things—the disdain of ordinary life, the need to control others rather than be con...
A long held belief based on a perceived reality that is rooted in a diminishing view of yourself or others probably is not serving you. Today is a good day to let go of one of them. Today is a great day to let go of one of them-if it's a secret grudg...
David Kleinfeld: Hey Louie... Louie, your fuckin' chick's givin' you a handjob right in front of everybody. I got guests here, for christsake. People are eating. Louie: Take it easy, Dave. David Kleinfeld: No-you take it easy. You got any manners? Yo...
Ed Crane: [narrating] There they were. All going about their business. It seemed like I knew a secret, a bigger one even than what had really happened to Big Dave. Something none of them knew. Like I had made it to the outside somehow, and they were ...
Dave: So tell us Mark, now at the very end - what was your secret? How did you get all them girls? Mark: Simple. Don't say anything at all. 'Young' Carl: Nothing? Mark: Nothing. Then, when the tension becomes too much to bear, you finally, finally, y...
Melvin Belli: Inspector, he sent this letter directly to my residence, since he couldn't get through to me here or on the Dunbar show. Dave Toschi: He tried to contact you here? Melvin Belli: Once, I was out. He spoke with my housekeeper. He didn't l...
Non-alcoholic ways in which parents may not 'be there' for the children can include: - violence and sexual abuse - workholism - gambling - transquilliser addiction- - womanizing - frequent journeys abroad - death - suicide - being unemployed or unemp...
The reason is that you eat too many foods that are high in "calories," which are little units that measure how good a particular food tastes. Fudge, for example, has a great many calories, whereas celery, which is not really a food at all but a membe...
Fiction is one of the few experiences where loneliness can be both confronted and relieved. Drugs, movies where stuff blows up, loud parties -- all these chase away loneliness by making me forget my name's Dave and I live in a one-by-one box of bone ...
Andy Kaufman: I am sick of this shit, Lawler. I am gonna sue you. I'm gonna sue you, I swear to God. Fuck you! Okay? Okay, Lawler? Fuck you! I'm sorry, Dave. I know I'm not supposed to use those words on television. I can't say those words. I'm sorry...
Annabeth Markum: Celeste called looking for you. She was worried something might happen. She told me about Dave. Told me what she told you. What kind of wive says those things about her husband? And why'd she run to you? Jimmy Markum: Why did not you...
Dave Kujan: First day on the job, you know what I learned? How to spot a murderer. Let's say you arrest three guys for the same killing. You put them all in jail overnight. The next morning, whoever's sleeping is your man. You see, if you're guilty, ...
Arthur Leigh Allen: Oh. "The Most Dangerous Game." Inspector William Armstrong: What? Arthur Leigh Allen: "The Most Dangerous Game." That's why you're here isn't it? It was my favorite book in high school. It's about this man who waits for these peop...
It’s…The only way I can get on with my life is by forgetting what went on before. Dave used to tell me that I didn’t have control over what the bastard of my father did to me, and that he’d been punished for it, and I might as well concentrat...
