As the incidence and fear of rape on college campuses have increased, the term rape has been generalized to mean 'misuse; diminish the effects of; steal; defeat': "I just went to the mall and raped my VISA." "My dad phoned this morning and raped my b...
If you have not seen it, FOOTBALL is a game in which men shove one another back and forth for no reason. They do not choose how, when, or whom they shove. All that has been decided for them in advance. All they need to do is follow the orders given t...
Which is an interactive sport for our family, since Gil likes to groan over the writing and point out the plot twists ahead of time, and Jeremy tears his hair out over the historical inaccuracies, and Dad makes corny jokes, till Mom reminds us, loudl...
Raz was one of those vanguard human beings of indeterminate ethnicity, the magnificent mutts that I hope we are all destined to become given another millennium of intermixing. His skin was a rich pecan color from his dad, who was part African America...
I can't tell you how sorry I am. About everything. About your poor cat, about that horrendous funeral my dad concocted, and really about my lunatic father in general. I'm sorry you had to move in next to a family of complete weirdos. I don't know how...
Your mother, my mother, and mother of pearl walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hello, dad, you look more like whiskey than I remember. Have you been tanning?” To which all three mothers respond, “The French Revolution was the best thing ...
The Mozart sonata Dad picked out begins to play. When we hear the first note, we open the sacks and the ladybugs escape through the opening, taking flight. It's as if someone has dumped rubies from heaven. Soon they will land on the plants in search ...
No milk," I said. "No milk," said my sister. I watched my dad think about this. He looked like he was going to suggest that we have something for breakfast that you do not need milk for, like sausages, but then he looked like he remembered that, with...
Years ago I had realized I was blaming myself for it. People and doctors would tell me it wasn't my fault, but I couldn't “BELIEVE” it! Then I was talking to my friend Kieran and he explained to me in a way that I could PERCEIVE that I was not at...
Why do you think, A.J.," they say in unison, "that you find these boys so attractive?" I didn't say that this fiery chemical explosion leaps from somewhere inside me. Parents don't want to hear these things. I shrugged and said nothing. "Maybe you sh...
Tyler Fitzgerald: Anybody can fly plane, now here: I'll check you out. Put your little hands on the wheel there. Now put your feet on the rudder. There. Who says this ol' boy can't fly this ol' plane? Now I'm gonna make us some Old Fashioneds the old...
Gordie: Why did he have to die, Chris? Why did Denny have to die? Chris: I don't know. Gordie: It should've been me. Chris: Don't say that. Gordie: It should've been me. Chris: Don't say that, man! Gordie: I'm no good. My dad said it. I'm no good. Ch...
[last lines] James Gordon Jr.: Batman? Batman! Why's he running dad? Lt. James Gordon: Because we have to chase him. Cop: Okay we're going in! Go, go! Move! James Gordon Jr.: He didn't do anything wrong. Lt. James Gordon: Because he's the hero Gotham...
Nemo: Hey dad! Maybe when I'm at school, I'll see a shark. Marlin: I highly doubt it. Nemo: Have how ever met a shark? Marlin: No, and I don't plan to. Nemo: How old are sea turtles? Marlin: Sea turtles? I don't know. Nemo: Sandy Plankton from next d...
[about Hogwarts] Sirius Black: It's beautiful, isn't it? I'll never forget the first time I walked through those doors. It'll be nice to do it again as a free man. [about Pettigrew] Sirius Black: That was a noble thing you did back there. He doesn't ...
Hiccup: [as Toothless gestures for him to get on] You got it, bud. [He mounts Toothless, preparing to fly after the Green Death dragon] Stoick: [grabbing Hiccup's arm] Hiccup!... I'm sorry. For-for everything. Hiccup: Yeah, me too. Stoick: You don't ...
Professor Henry Jones: The quest for the grail is not archeology, it's a race against evil. If it is captured by the Nazis the armies of darkness will march all over the face of the earth. Do you understand me? Indiana Jones: This is an obsession, Da...
Tony Stark: They say that the best weapon is the one you never have to fire. I respectfully disagree. I prefer the weapon you only have to fire once. That's how Dad did it, that's how America does it, and it's worked out pretty well so far. I present...
Daniel: Tell her that you love her. Sam: No way! Anyway, they fly tonight. Daniel: Even better! Sam, you've got nothin' to lose, and you'll always regret it if you don't! I never told your mom enough. I should have told her everyday because she was p...
Young Simba: Dad? Mufasa: Hmm? Young Simba: We're pals, right? Mufasa: Right. Young Simba: And we'll always be together, right? Mufasa: Simba, let me tell you something my father told me. Look at the stars. The great kings of the past look down on us...
Christopher: Hey dad, you wanna hear something funny? There was a man who was drowning, and a boat came, and the man on the boat said "Do you need help?" and the man said "God will save me". Then another boat came and he tried to help him, but he sai...
