Rusty Griswold: Hey, ya' got Pac Man? Cousin Dale: No. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Space Invaders? Cousin Dale: Nope. Rusty Griswold: Ya' got Asteroids? Cousin Dale: Naw, but my dad does. Can't even sit on the toilet some days.
[after Mary Sue explains to Betty about sex] Jennifer: Are you okay? Betty Parker: Um, yes. It's, uh, just that your father would never do anything like that. Jennifer: Ahhhh. Betty Parker: Mmm. Jennifer: Well, you know, Mom, there are other ways to ...
Yellow Bastard: [to Hartigan] My dad - I'd love him if I didn't *hate* him! He spent a fortune hiring every expert on the planet to grow back that equipment you blew off between my legs! He succeeded, although, as you can see, there were some... side...
Michael: Oi! Dancing boy! Dad: [Billy turns around and starts running to him] We'll miss the bus, Billy! Tony: Can you stop being an old fucking woman? Billy: [approaches Michael, then after a moment, kisses him on the cheek] See you then. [smiles an...
I don’t think of it that way. Besides, it’s only temporary. Once Dad sees that— That what? That the idiot who kidnapped you, stole you again, and made you an accomplice to a bunch of criminals, still calls you his? Something tells me that you b...
Before I started (college), that's the advice my dad gave me. He said to pick classes based on the teacher whenever you can, not the subject...his point was that good teachers are priceless. They inspire you, they entertain you, and you end up learni...
I sit on my bed and think about Nader McMillan and wonder what I’m going to do. Ignore him. Stand up to him. Avoid him. Be “tough.” I think of the stuff Dad has said over the years. How he finally gave up suggesting things.
Don’t you want to get well? Come on, Portia, this won’t be forever, mate: Dad’s confident, everyone’s behind you. Remember,’ I gave her an encouraging punch on the arm, ‘you’ll never walk alone, even if you are an Evertonian.’ She bur...
Mercury starts barking at a bunch of colourful parrots sitting in the bending fennel. I let him off the leash, and they twitter and fly away, points in a moving constellation. Dad used to say Aussie birds reminded him of fish in the reef near his vil...
I'd love to know how Dad saw me when I was 6. I'd love to know a hundred things. When a parent dies, a filing cabinet full of all the fascinating stuff also ceases to exist. I never imagined how hungry I'd be one day to look inside it.
My last words to him were to assure him that we would bring Sally to join him later. And you know what your dad said? He said that he would wait for as long as it took." Grace bit her lip. "But she never came, did she? And he never stopped waiting.
I was born on the other side of the tracks, in public housing in Brooklyn, New York. My dad never made more than $20,000 a year, and I grew up in a family that lost health insurance. So I was scarred at a young age with understanding what it was like...
I was living at home until about 27 and decided it was time to move out and move somewhere else, so that's what I did. I wanted it to be the right thing to do. I didn't want to buy something out of my price range; I didn't want to be stupid with my m...
The world is full of unrequited love,' I said finally. 'You and Patrick having problems?' Dad said, reaching around to get the butter out of the fridge. 'No, I was just wondering what you would say if I was a lesbian.' 'Come again?' said Lester. 'I'm...
You’re probably better at math than I am, because pretty much everyone’s better at math than I am, but it’s okay, I’m fine with it. See, I excel at other, more important things—guitar, sex, and consistently disappointing my dad, to name a f...
I'm a what?" gasped Harry. "A wizard, o' course," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an' a thumpin' good'un I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be...
I had a dream about you. I asked you, “I haven’t Heaven in your pants, have I?” and you deferred to your dad, who made me sign a waver and waved me off after putting my name on the waiting list.
Sam was your brother, and Trick was your friend, but what they did had nothing to do with you. You don't have to choose. Just because me and your dad couldn't live together, didn't mean you had to stop loving one of us, did it? Doesn't work like that...
Two days after my dad's funeral, my mom went on a mission. I never understood it until then--that sometimes a spy doesn't need a cover so much as she needs a shield.
We approach the house and I wave at Jimmy. "And if he thinks he's eating with us, he's got another thing coming," my dad says. Jimmy approaches us and takes the shopping bags from me, looking inside them. "Lamb roast. Am I invited?
Dad had this story. A Marine and a Navy guy walk into a bathroom together. They both take a piss, and then sailor goes to the sink. The Marine heads for the door, and the sailor says, "Hey- in the Navy they teach us to wash up after we take a leak." ...
