Dialogue in the works of autobiography is quite naturally viewed with some suspicion. How on earth can the writer remember verbatim conversations that happened fifteen, twenty, fifty years ago? But 'Are you playing, Bob?' is one of only four sentence...
I'm starting to understand that attempting to be perfect has been the goal of my life. Our lives. Attempting to be this fault-free, smiling person in this loving, happy family that fits so perfectly in this pretty, inoffensive little town. What was s...
For as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a cat guy. Every night as I go to sleep, I have this particular fantasy I indulge in. Most men dream about naked women, but not me. I dream about being isolated in a mountainous forest in the middle o...
Who're you going with, then?" said Ron. "Angelina," said Fred promptly, without a trace of embarrassment. "What?" said Ron, taken aback. "You've already asked her?" "Good point," said Fred. He turned his head and called across the common room, "Oi! A...
I was shaking so hard, I could barely get the door unlocked. I just got the door shut behind me when I sank to my knees and fell apart. I cried so hard I was nearly convulsing. I had never felt such raw emotions in my life. I felt like someone had ri...
Elliot - Elliot waved absently, making a decision right then and there. He'd take the trip that Patrick offered. A cruise down Europe's most famous rivers couldn't be any more disruptive than home, after all. Alice -I stood up shaking the laptop at n...
Although we credit God with designing man, it turns out He's not sufficiently skilled to have done so. In point of fact, He unintentionally knocked over the first domino by creating a palette of atoms with different shapes. Electron clouds bonded, mo...
His words were almost soundless. "I've gotten to a really dark place, Melly. The darkest place I've ever been." "You don't have to be there anymore," she told him gently. "Don't you know what happens at the darkest point of the day?" He stroked her s...
Every animal is a tradition, and together they are a vast part of our heritage as human beings. No animal completely lacks humanity, yet no person is ever completely human. By ourselves, we people are simply balls of protoplasm. We merge with animals...
Well,’said Ernest, ‘by some strange coincidence I know this story.’ Boddichek was not good at irony. ‘I knew that there was that possibility,’ he said, ‘but we have a great new way to treat it, and I thought you might want to reread it be...
The girl and Doctor Reefy began their courtship on a summer afternoon. He was forty-five then and already he had begun the practice of filling his pockets with the scraps of paper that became hard balls and were thrown away. The habit had been formed...
Oh, stormy stormy world, The days you were not swirled Around with mist and cloud, Or wrapped as in a shroud, And the sun’s brilliant ball Was not in part or all Obscured from mortal view— Were days so very few I can but wonder whence I get the l...
One of the supreme paradoxes of baseball, and all sports, is that the harder you try to throw a pitch or hit a ball or accomplish something, the smaller your chances are for success. You get the best results not when you apply superhuman effort but w...
Look, cat, you and I are never going to be friends. She’s going to call you Max, but I’m going to call you Shit Head. And if you think for one second—” The cat lies down in a tight little ball of nastiness and falls asleep. “Oh, please. Mak...
I've failed in communication...and so I've learned to have open and honest dialogue at the opportune, and appropriate time. I've failed in relationships...and so I've learned to appreciate the people in my life, and to treat them with kindness. I've ...
Vowels were something else. He didn't like them, and they didn't like him. There were only five of them, but they seemed to be everywhere. Why, you could go through twenty words without bumping into some of the shyer consonants, but it seemed as if y...
Carlito: You ripped him off, didn't you? David Kleinfeld: What? Carlito: Tony T. You did take the million dollars, didn't you? David Kleinfeld: [guiltily] Yeah. Carlito: You ain't a lawyer no more, Dave. You a gangster now. On the other side. A whole...
Elliot: [upon encountering E.T., running excitedly into the house] Mom, Mom! There's something out there! Mary: What? Elliot: It's in the toolshed. It threw the ball at me. [Michael and his friends mock him loudly] Elliot: QUIET! [Michael's friends g...
Everett Flatch: [Shooter is coaching the team at a critical moment after Coach Dale was ejected] You think #22's gonna take their last shot, Dad? Wilbur 'Shooter' Flatch: Yeah, probably... they been pickin' low all night. Rade, let yourself get taken...
Teacher: Nouns beginning with "B"? Yes, Sophie? Sophie à 8 ans: "B" for... "Big-dick", "bonk"... "B" for "Beat the beaver", "bordello", "balls", "blow-job", "bug-eyed baboon", "bitchbag"... "Beat it, bitchbag!" Teacher: Think you're funny, miss? Wha...
Scott Smith: [reading a threatening note] 'Harvey Milk will have a dream journey and nightmare to hell. A night of horror. He will be stabbed and have your genitals, cock balls and prick cut off.' I'm calling the police. Harvey Milk: They probably wr...
