Quick, think of a marvelous excuse he’ll totally swallow. Aha!“To practice. Unlike you guys, I haven’t tried my particular talent since Granny May signed me up for belly-dancing classes when I was fifteen.”And, by the way, why the hell did I ...
Vowels were something else. He didn't like them, and they didn't like him. There were only five of them, but they seemed to be everywhere. Why, you could go through twenty words without bumping into some of the shyer consonants, but it seemed as if y...
I have seen conversations that I had three years ago, when I was young, in love, and naive. I've grown a lot since those days. I now know that love isn't just that abstract feeling, because there are so many other sides to it. Sometimes you learn tha...
After a fairly shaky start to the day, Arthur's mind was beginning to reassemble itself from the shell-shocked fragments the previous day had left him with. He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a li...
[O]ver the years I travelled to another universe. However alert we are, however much we think we know what will happen, antiquity remains an unknown, unanticipated galaxy. It is alien, and old people are a separate form of life. They have green skin,...
All my moral and intellectual being is penetrated by an invincible conviction that whatever falls under the dominion of our senses must be in nature and, however exceptional, cannot differ in its essence from all the other effects of the visible and ...
To call up modern versions of the old stories, one has to go forth and live life. As a result then, one will have the challenge of not only living the story, taking it all in, but also interpreting it in whatever ways are useful. So too, one will rea...
We didn’t see anyone that day. We had no expectations. Everything was spontaneous. There wasn’t a single moment of stress. We laughed like crazy all afternoon – though I couldn’t tell you what about. And there was definitely something in the ...
Baloo: Now, look. It's like this, little britches. All you gotta do is... Baloo: [singing] Look for the bare necessities / The simple bare necessities / Forget about your worries and your strife / I mean the bare necessities / Are Mother Nature's rec...
Mark Loring: So... Let's talk about how we're going to do this thing. Juno MacGuff: What do you mean? Don't I just have the thing? Squeeze it on out and hand it over? Gerta Rauss: Mark and Vanessa are willing to negotiate an open adoption... Mac MacG...
Dr. Alan Grant: [finding egg shells] Oh my God. Do you know what this is? This is a dinosaur egg. The dinosaurs are breeding. Tim: But Grandpa said all the dinosaurs were girls. Dr. Alan Grant: Amphibian DNA. Lex: What's that? Dr. Alan Grant: Well, o...
Gordie: Alright, alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck, Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy? Vern: If I could only have one food for the rest of my life? That's easy-Pez. Cherry-flavored Pez. No question about it. Teddy: Goofy's a dog. He's definitely a...
[223 phones some potential dates] He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Lulu? This is Qiwu. Want to come out for a drink? You're in bed already? This early? You were asleep? Never mind. Bye. [He phones another] He Zhiwu, Cop 223: Chieko-san? Guess who? This is Qiwu. Th...
Charlie Chaplin: That's not what dogged me, George. It wasn't that. Charlie Chaplin: It was... it was the knowledge that if you did what I did for a living-if you were a clown-and you had a passion to tell a particular kind of story... something... b...
Alfredo: Get out of here! Go back to Rome. You're young and the world is yours. I'm old. I don't want to hear you talk anymore. I want to hear others talking about you. Don't come back. Don't think about us. Don't look back. Don't write. Don't give i...
[in a Chinese restaurant] Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: [singing] Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra. Chop Suey Palace Owner: No, no, not 'ra ra ra ra', 'la la la la'! Try again. Waiter #1, Waiter #2, Waiter #3: D...
Benny Blanco: I don't know, but there may be some mis-fuckin'-understanding, I don't know man, but maybe you don't remember me, my name is Benny Blanco... Carlito: Maybe I don't give a shit. Maybe I don't remember the last time I blew my nose either....
Carlito: You ripped him off, didn't you? David Kleinfeld: What? Carlito: Tony T. You did take the million dollars, didn't you? David Kleinfeld: [guiltily] Yeah. Carlito: You ain't a lawyer no more, Dave. You a gangster now. On the other side. A whole...
Alex: How much currency would a first-rate accountant receive in America? Jonathan: I don't know, a lot, probably, if he or she is good. Alex: She? Jonathan: Or he. Alex: Are there Negro accountants? Jonathan: Yes, there are *African American* accoun...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Kathy... I'm about to tell you something that I never told any girl on a first date. But I think it's important that you know... I like to wear women's clothes. Kathy O'Hara: Huh? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I like to wear women's cloth...
Dr. Barringer, Clinic Director: There is one outside chance for a cure. I think of it as shock treatment - as I said, it's a very outside chance... Have you ever heard of exorcism? Well, it's a stylized ritual in which the rabbi or the priest try to ...
