When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people laugh. I was a few years out of college before I felt I had enough material. Then in 1988 I moved to L.A. and started to do some s...
As an actor I worked for seven years with a community theater company based in London. We used improvisation techniques to take stories to young people who wouldn't normally have access to them - in prisons, hospitals, young offender's units, youth c...
Some memorizers arbitrarily associate each playing card with a familiar person or object, so that the king of clubs is represented by, say, Tony Danza. The grand masters associate each card with a person, an action, or an object so that every group o...
I'm a child of the '80s, so like everyone else, I love all those classic, formative movies - 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off,' 'Pretty in Pink,' 'Sixteen Candles,' 'Dirty Dancing,' etc., with 'St. Elmo's Fire' and 'The Breakfast Club' existing on a separat...
My grandson Sam Saunders has been playing golf since he could hold a club and I spent a lot of time with him over the years. Like my father taught me, I showed him the fundamentals of the game and helped him make adjustments as he and his game mature...
I very rarely laugh. I remember I used to have a joy at comedy. I remember going to see Sean Lock for the first time live, just in some comedy club when I was 18, and again, just guttural, pure laughter. I didn't know what he was doing; I couldn't se...
The only way the gender divide affected me was the social things the younger guy executives could do with their bosses. I don't know what went on in the clubs, because I didn't go. I made sure my work was stellar, and that compensated for whatever so...
Dr. Eve Saks: We can make you comfortable. Ron Woodroof: What? Hook me up to the morphine drip, let me fade on out? Nah. Sorry, lady, but I prefer to die with my boots on.
Ron Woodroof: Guess who's going to Mexico, lookin' for a hot date? Dr. Eve Saks: Do I look like someone who takes vacations? Ron Woodroof: A little tequila, sunshine and tacos never hurt anybody.
Ron Woodroof: These fuckers are coming at me, man, from all angles. I wanna file a restraining order. David Wayne: Against who? Ron Woodroof: Against the government and the fucking FDA, that's who.
Tyler Durden: Fuck off with your sofa units and strine green stripe patterns, I say never be complete, I say stop being perfect, I say let... lets evolve, let the chips fall where they may.
[to the Narrator who has just fired a warning shot into the window of an explosives filled van] Tyler Durden: WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! Ok, you are now firing a gun at your 'imaginary friend' near 400 GALLONS OF NITROGLYCERINE!
Marla Singer: ...Condom is the glass slipper of our generation. You slip one on when you meet a stranger. You dance all night... then you throw it away. The condom, I mean, not the stranger. Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Fuck what you know. You need to forget about what you know, that's your problem. Forget about what you think you know about life, about friendship, and especially about you and me.
Tyler Durden: [the Narrator places the gun under his chin and cocks back the hammer] Now why would you want to go and blow your head off? Narrator: Not my head, Tyler, *our* head.
Tyler Durden: [his face is soaked in blood; he is shaking it over Lou and screaming] You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the basement, Lou!
Tyler Durden: Would you like to say a few words to mark the occasion? Narrator: mumbles... Tyler Durden: I'm sorry... Narrator: I still can't think of anything. Tyler Durden: Ah... flashback humor.
Neville Longbottom: [serving drinks at Slughorn's Christmas party] I didn't get into the Slug Club. It's okay, though. He's got Belby handing out towels in the loo.
Bouncer: [examining a golf bag] What's in here? Spats' Henchman: My golf clubs. The putter, niblick, number three iron... Bouncer: [pulling out a Tommy sub-machine gun] What's this? Spats' Henchman: My mashie!
If I was involved with the NFL, I'd seriously consider adopting some of the rules used in Canada. I've heard, unofficially, of course, some NFL club owners have talked about adding a feature or two. The NFL went for the two-point conversion. Professi...
Nashville is a boys' club of redneck conservative ideas. But they're ready to embrace gay people. I never felt for one second that someone was judging me. Some people are like, 'Oh, I love gay people' in that 'I have lots of black friends' kind of wa...
