Charlie Bucket: [after eating the now-shrunken Wonka bar] It's perfect. Mrs. Teevee: It's unbelievable! Grandpa Joe: It's a miracle! Mike Teevee: It's a TV dinner! Willy Wonka: It's Wonkavision. Grandpa Joe: It could change the world!
Betty Carver: Hey. I could have had any guy, any guy, but I chose you. I chose you. Gilbert: Why did you? Betty Carver: [pause] Because... I knew you'd always be there. Because I knew you'd never leave.
Gilbert: Ellen? Ellen? Ellen Grape: What? Gilbert: Could you not talk with your mouth full? Ellen Grape: Excuse me? Gilbert: You're making me sick, I'm gonna throw up. Ellen Grape: Oh, okay, dad. Sure thing, dad.
Fox: We were just at that big meeting up in the Bronx. We're goin' home to Coney. Train gets messed up by the fire and dumps us here. Orphan Leader: I don't know what you're talkin' about, man. How could this be a big meeting if the Orphans wasn't th...
Drag Queen: Only a little rat bastard like Andre could have done something like cut off all the victims' hands. Inspector William Armstrong: Zodiac didn't cut off any of the victims' hands. Drag Queen: Are you sure? Inspector William Armstrong: Yes, ...
Wichita: You know between you, me and "What About Bob?"... You're actually kinda cute. Columbus: You think so? Wichita: Yeah. I mean you got the guts of a guppy but I could hit that. Columbus: Really? Wichita: Or at least give you the intentional wal...
I haven't the faintest idea what my royalties are. I haven't the faintest idea how many copies of books sold, or how many books that I've written. I could look these things up; I have no interest in them. I don't know how much money I have. There are...
My goal when I started out was to get to the point where I could tour a lot and make a living, which means getting paid enough to hire my own band, travel and end up with a bit of money, but I'm still nowhere near that point. Because I didn't have a ...
In the military I could exercise the power of being automatically respected because of the medals on my chest, not because I had done anything right at the moment to earn that respect. This is pretty nice. It's also a psychological trap that can stop...
When I was young, I read everything I could lay my hands on, but the Scots in my storybooks spent their time fighting glorious battles, rowing across lochs, or escaping over moors of purple heather. Even those Scots were hard to find. For at school, ...
Nobody could like Donald Trump, surely, except his mother. No one really likes The Donald. But how can you not have respect for a guy who's been down on the floor and just keeps coming back? Nothing will keep Donald Trump down until they drive a wood...
You remember what you go through as a kid, what's going to make you listen, what's going to make you respond. I held onto that. People who treated me like that when I was younger got every bit of respect and attention I could give them, because I kne...
Reading was my hobby, my sport and my activity of choice. It was the prime pleasure of my days, an unfailing escape from whatever realities were distressing me, and the only source of pride I knew, other vanities lying beyond my grasp. I couldn't do ...
I was all-state in four sports in New Jersey, but sometimes I couldn't get served at a restaurant two blocks from my high school. There were no job opportunities then... the only thing a black youth could aspire to be was a bellboy or a pullman or an...
I did a practical theatre degree, which I took seriously, and then told my parents I wanted to go into acting - because up until that point you could still say you were going to become a teacher. So I told my parents, and they said: 'But of course, t...
I stayed in the astronaut program until 1993. People ask me why I left. I thought I had a lot of things to contribute that would be difficult to do if I stayed. I thought I could have a stronger voice as an advocate for space exploration. So I ended ...
I can tell you, Obamacare, I have been stunned by the pratfalls associated with its implementation. I simply can't understand how a president that had such an effective technology campaign and has such support among the technology community members c...
I don't really know what 'selling out' is exactly. I would sell out if I could, but nobody's buying it. I would love to go mainstream, but my comedy is too edgy. It's always too dirty. It's always too filthy. I'm dying to sell out. But I love doing c...
I don't regret giving up football for acting. I love football and am very proud I played for Morton. But the truth is, I wasn't going to get much higher in football. At the same time, I sensed I could go somewhere in acting. I'm 28, which is young fo...
Take stock of your thoughts and behavior. Each night ask yourself, when were you negative when you could have been positive? When did you withhold love when you might have given it? When did you play a neurotic game instead of behaving in a powerful ...
How could I share with you how I felt when two towers that I loved, two pieces of steel and glass and concrete fell down, when actually they took with them thousands of human lives? That is the actual tragedy. But those towers were almost human for m...
