A blanket could be used to create another way. There is no other way but to make another way. We simply must!
A brick could be used to enhance your sex life. So what are you waiting for? Get that gerbil out of your pants
A brick and a blanket could be used to show creativity, by making them the subjects of a divergence test. Oh wait, that’s what this is. Nevermind.
A brick could be used to enhance your social status. Just affix it to the hood of your car, like a Mercedes ornament.
A brick could be used in a manner most secret. But Shh! I can't tell you. What part about secret don't you understand?
A brick could be used to make music. But why not use something more humane, like your armpit.
A blanket could be used as a bathtub tarp, keeping all the body’s heat in, and the police’s and murder victim’s wife’s eyes out.
A brick could be used like the point where always meets never. I mean come on, who wouldn’t want to watch a brick levitate?
A brick could be used as a Sexual Orientation Device. But I don’t need it, because I know my sexual orientation—north!
A brick could be used to tell time. And just between you and me, I hope that brick tells time to go to hell.
A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work.
A brick could be licked, like a cat’s asshole. But obviously inversed, because your tongue is soft and the brick is rough.
A brick could be used as a Disappointment Cube. Here, I’m giving mine to you, because you really bummed me out, man.
A blanket could be used to stop the bleeding. But what if that bleeding is figurative? In that case, I’d recommend a virtual Band-Aid.
A blanket could be used to warn your enemy that you are coming—and that you are warm. Where’s the cold war when you need it?
A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up like a wearable memory.
A brick could be used as a doorstop. But why bother? To promote an open-door policy, I had all the walls knocked down.
A brick could be used to assuage your sense that life isn't real. Hold it in your hands and say, This is not a dream.
Brick could be the codename for Rick B. But why the need for secrecy? If I told you I’d have to blanket you.
You could put a blond wig on a hot-water heater and some dude would try to fuck it.
But I feel like I could not live... if you weren't in my life.” -Nik Driver
