Quotes of: Comic-book Keyword

I didn’t go to the water park because it was raining, and I didn’t want to get wet.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Rain, it always reminds me of water. And you know how much I love things that remind me of other things. Say, that reminds me...

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If there’s a 50% chance of rain, I guess it means it’ll be half sunny. Relationships are similar, with my love being sunny and your love being cloudy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My car rides smooth like I’m driving a cloud. If I park it at your house, I may get rainwater on your living room carpet.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I wouldn't mind showering in the rain, if there weren't so many naked men holding umbrellas standing behind me. Who invited Congress?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Ninety minutes of pure naughty (limit 30 minutes per customer). *No clones or triplets allowed!

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

He’s a buying dude, and I’ve got to sell him something—like my credibility. (On sale Today through Labor Day.)


This Book is Not FOR SALE

I can Grandma like nobody’s business. Hey, mind your own, grandpa, before I go all Uncle Sam on your ass.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think, what’s the difference? Either way they are ignorant.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If a book has anything to say, it burns with a quiet laugh, because any book worth its salt points up and out of itself.

Too Loud a Solitude

I remember the first time we made love like it was the second time. We never made love again, and I don’t regret it for a second.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I went to Hallmark, but they don’t sell corridors there. I did, however, find a card that perfectly summed up our relationship. The card was blank.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have women all over the world. In New York, London, Los Angeles. I think what they find most appealing about me is the distance.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I met a girl I wanted to date, but she was spoken for—by her mouth. That’s the kind of relationship I could never talk her out of.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love is as clear as saran wrap, and just as necessary for preserving our interpersonal leftovers. If you’re ready to heat things up, I’m ready to spoon.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

She didn’t just disappear from my life—she had the audacity to die on me. And until I get Alzheimer’s, I will never forget it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the Buckminster Fuller of Love, though I’m not as full as you’d omniimagine. I do not belong to you, because I do not belong to I. No, I belong to us.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you can’t respect me as a banana, then I’m not sure how you can respect me as a man. Aside from not cramping up, what’s more important than respect?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I know what is wrong, I know what is right, and most importantly, I know what is left. Nothing is left, now that she left and took all her love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

William Penn would be a great pen name. But for love letters to manicured lawns, trees, and benches, the best name would be Nicholas Parks.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love is like being featherless in mid flight and not even wondering if you taste like chicken. My love must taste like ostrich, because I’m always running from it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE