Quotes of: Comic-book Keyword

What I call talking to God, you may call talking to myself. Of course, I’m flattered that you’d think I am God.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Farmers don’t picket government corruption, they picket fences. Let this be a lesson in love and the proper way to separate churlish and state.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Is that a ziggurat in your pocket or are you just Mesopotamia? You should know I sell happy-to-see-me's & bananas individually or by the pocketful.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is reflected off the moon.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Don’t put the hat in hate and then wear it around with pride. Wear your love like socks for gloves, and let the world know you're serious.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The three of us met to discuss dinner over sandwiches, and I decided I liked them. The sandwiches, not the people. I hated those fucking people.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Love rocks. Stones also rock. I wish I could scissors paper my way into your heart.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The cause isn’t worth getting up for, but it is worth sleeping for. Just trying to do my part to help humanity.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Free pyramids! Buy one, get one half buried.

This is the best book I've ever written, and it still sucks

Love is a bridge between your future and mine. A bridge constructed entirely out of trust, honesty, and in our case, wooden planks.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Hungry and thirsty? Soup solves both problems at once. My love for you is starved and dehydrated, and all I need is one spoon.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Different people have different ideas. We need to kill them—the ideas, not the people. The people we just need to torture.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Shakespeare asked what’s in a name. Well, each of my clones won’t be named the same as me, but they’ll be me and just as sweet.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

When someone I admire turns out to be a rather normal guy, I get offended because it’s an insult to my jealousy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

She tried to insult me in front of the whole party. So what could I do but yawn and walk away?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The ability to gauge intelligence is itself a form of intelligence. Monkeys don’t ponder how smart monkeys are. Ditto for politicians.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

The internet's a great way to meet people. You never really know someone until you see their fake profile.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My knowledge is mine to use as I see fit. But I’m way too out of shape to see fit.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What does it matter if you can speak two or more languages if you have nothing original to say in any language?

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I can’t get car parts at Lowes, the home improvement store? If I lived in my car, my car would be my home.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If I were a shovel salesman, my biggest customers would be murderers. Oh, and spurned lovers trying to bury the past.

This Book is Not FOR SALE