Quotes of: Comic-book Keyword

I haven’t seen my old friends in a while. Maybe next week I’ll go visit them in the nursing home.

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What do I do for fun? Well, I’d love to get into the bank robbing business, but government work is not for me.

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Last time I had sex I was so good I got a standing ovation. Well, actually, I just got the clap.

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I like wearing a blindfold while watching movies, so that I can focus on the dialogue. My favorite flicks are the silent movies.

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If I were a mannequin, I'd know people would only want me for my body. But that's OK, because that's how it is now.

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I’m not waiting until my hair turns white to become patient and wise. Nope, I’m dyeing my hair tonight.

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I like watching people stretch in the park. It's my new favorite pastime since I bought a portable rack.

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My words and my ideas are my property, and I’ll keep and protect them as surely as I do my stable of unicorns.

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I am the dinosaur of love. Specifically, I am a pterodactyl, and you are my silent “p.” Stay quiet woman!

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If love came in a cardboard tube, I’d probably send it priority mail. But I’d make you pay for shipping.

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I went out to eat on a restaurant’s opening night. It was packed! I guess people heard I’d be dining there and came to adore me.

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I am innocent! But only because the opportunity to partake in an activity that would render me guilty has not presented itself.

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I don’t understand people who don’t like meatloaf. Your mom doesn’t make it like Michael Aday does.

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I want to go to sleep in my time machine and wake up eight hours in the future.

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On March 5th, I'm having my birthday celebration. The party starts at midnight, and ends at 12:01 AM. Don't be late!

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You can't put a price tag on human life. But if you could, I'd demand coupons for clones.

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Sometimes I pretend I'm from the 19th century. Then I drive around and say, Wow! So this is what the future's like, huh?

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Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.

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Her and I, we passed each other, and now she’s in my past. That’s one present I’d like to unwrap in the future.

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It was queer meeting him there—odd I mean—and what are the odds we’d meet at a gay bar? I was there to meet a woman, I think.

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Some people think nature is their God. I'd like to apologize to all those people for pissing on their religion.

This Book is Not FOR SALE