Quotes of: Comic-book Keyword

Learn how to read by taking small sips first. Drink my watery literary nipples.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

No matter how great you are, you could always be greater. Let this be a lesson in the need to lessen the size of your ego.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If you need me I’ll be sitting over there, on the ground, next to the empty chair. The emptiness always reminds me of your love.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

What is it about money that makes people kill for it? I’ll have to think about that next time I do it.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

You can't be extinct if people aren't even aware you ever existed. I should know, because I don't know.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

There are going to be a lot of eyes on this year's annual Blindfold Convention. People always want to watch what they can’t watch.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My uncle's a big drinker. In fact, he just got a liver transplant. They replaced it with a bottle of whiskey.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I wanted “300” to be less about fighting, and more about bowling. At least they could have had the Spartans wear bowling shoes.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I’d rather be the fastest runner than the best fighter. But then I am a supreme coward.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

My rules are as follows: don’t follow, unless there’s a fire. And in that case, follow from the front.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

If two heads are better than one, then what about double chins? On that note, I will help myself to seconds.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Your food’s not getting cold. I’m keeping it warm in my stomach. Dinner’s on me tonight.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I am the food of love. And do you know what food that is? Distilled barley.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

She asked for the time, and I said that information is for sale—by the slice. 60 slices in a whole pie.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Return something not for the possibility of a reward, but for the joy of giving a gift which you did not have to pay for.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I give everybody my love, and therefore nobody gets my love. I’m freedy—free and greedy.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Friends, like fingers, are only good if you can count on them, as well as point them in the right direction.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Friends are like orgasms: you can never have too many, but just try to watch out for the fake ones.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

Good friends are like appendages. It's painful to lose one, and crippling to lose two or more.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

People are more likely to like you if you treat them with respect and Linseed oil.

This Book is Not FOR SALE

I have two friends, Steve and Martin. But I'd happily replace both for the friendship of Steve Martin.

This Book is Not FOR SALE