Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve? Barrel: Where are we taking him? Shock: Where? Lock: To Oogie Boogie, of course. There's no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, did...
Doc: The, uh, Princess will sleep in our beds upstairs. Snow White: But, where will you sleep? Doc: Oh, we'll be quite comfortable down here, in, uh, in, uh. Grumpy: In a pig's eye! Doc: In a pig's eye. Sty. No! No! I mean we'll be comfortable, won't...
And what the hell does that even mean? Why would you serve food for thoughgs, and what kind of food? If you serve spinach, do you get healthy thoughts? If it's ice cream and candy, it is fun thoughts? Why do we say stupid things?
It is worth remembering that at some point in the very distant past, no human had ever drank milk from a cow.
When the average American says, “I’m starving,” it is a prelude to a midnight raid on a well-stocked refrigerator or a sudden trip to the nearest fast food restaurant.
If you believe that life should be full of adventure , then you have to willing to let your kids have them, too.
Spiders evidently as surprised by the weather as the rest of us: their webs were still everywhere - little silken laundry lines with perfect snowflakes hung out in rows to dry.
It is horrible how people will use anything as a political monkey wrench and to hell with the country. (Julia Child to Avis DeVoto)
If you can't afford the good food or if you can't afford health care or if you don't have a job or if your car is dangerous because you can't get it fixed and you DIE, you just lost the game-bzzzzz-thanks for playing extreme capitalism.
You couldn’t get worse food, or food more detached from nature, if you tried. If you have an apple, you’re connected to an apple tree. If you have a dish of set custard and half a glace cherry you’re not connected to anything.
Give me a small intimate gathering of five people, a dinner party, where one-on-one conversations can be had, where people talk about current events, good books, good food, and weird news. That was my idea of a good time.
The day my dad left my mom and I was the second saddest day of my life. The saddest day was the next day, when he returned home.
A monster’s not a monster to another monster. At least that’s what I thought when I saw my mother-in-law talking to a statue of Stalin.
I called the police to report my missing mustache, but they didn’t take me seriously. I’ll bet if I had a mustache, they’d take me seriously. #catch22
My girlfriend asked if I wanted to go see a politician give a speech on “Ethics”, and I said, Sure, I might enjoy a bit of stand-up comedy.
She asked if she could have a word with me, and I replied, “So long as that word is yes.” If the word would’ve been no, I’d have said no.
I won a gold medal that day. I was a winner. Of course, since I was the only one competing, I was also a loser. It feels terrible coming in last place.
I like to wear a suit and tie and say things like, Well, I’d better be getting back to the farm. The crop’s not going to grow without my encouragement.
We gardeners are healthy, joyous, natural creatures. We are practical, patient, optimistic. We declare our optimism every year, every season, with every act of planting.
In this journey called "Life" I've learned that God never consults our past to determine our future" ~Lá Tanyha Boyd
The elevator shaft was a kind of heat sink. Hot food was cold by the time it arrived. Cold food got colder. No one knew what would happen to ice cream, but it would probably involve some rewriting of the laws of thermodynamics.
