My problem with the wedding industry started when I studied in college and liked to have the television on in the background, and 'A Wedding Story' on TLC always came on, and I'd get irritated that the story of two people making a lifelong commitment...
In the last years of the nineteen-eighties, I worked not at startups but at what might be called finish-downs. Tech companies that were dying would hire temps - college students and new graduates - to do what little was left of the work of the employ...
I got an offer at 'Vogue.' And I desperately wanted to work in magazines. My interest wasn't in fashion, but when you get an offer right out of college for a magazine that big - I decided that it was probably better to start at a big name magazine, e...
After college, I knew I wanted to work in comedy, so the first thing I did was go to where the comedy was. I moved from Charlottesville to Chicago, because that's where The Second City and Improv Olympics are. You have to go wherever you need to go t...
I'm a war baby: I was brought up with rationing, and my parents always had to struggle. I remember when I was sent to boarding school - Prior Park College in Bath - my father was asked how he was going to pay the fees, and he replied: 'In arrears.'
In the wake of his breakdown, Oswaldo had become hyperattuned to the way he, and people like him, were perceived. For his first three years at Yale, he'd been frustrated by these perceptions, feeling that they were inescapable, allowing that caged fe...
[first lines] Brent Tarleton: What do we care if we *were* expelled from college, Scarlett? The war is gonna start any day now, so we'd have left college anyhow. Stuart Tarleton: War! Isn't it exciting, Scarlett? You know those fool Yankees actually ...
Penny Hardwick: I... I was crazy about you. I wanted to sleep with you, one day, but not when I was 16. When you broke up with me - YOU broke up with ME - because I was, to use your charming expression, "tight," I cried, and I cried, and I hated you,...
I give you a week, maybe two, before you're driven to bite someone." "I don't know how to... to bite or drink! But you could teach me." "And what could you possibly do in return?" Lothaire waved a negligent hand. "Play football for me? Break in my je...
Find a printer paper and imagine a full-grown bird shaped something like a football with legs standing on it. Imagine 33,000 of these rectangles in a grid. (Broilers are never in cages, and never on multiple levels.) Now enclose the grid with windowl...
I went to a football game once and got punched in the face, but you couldn’t tell because I was already sitting in the nosebleed section.
To show the football coach I was ready to play tight end, I wore no pants and had a Q-tip dangling out of my ass.
The sky was thick with TV. If you wore special glasses you could see them spinning through the sky among the bats and homing birds—blondes, wars, famines, football, food shows, coups d'état, hairstyles stiff with hair spray. Designer pectorals. Gl...
Glenn could see I was bricking it and turned round to me as I sat there, gripping the armrests. "You all right?" he said. "I hate flying, Boss. I'm shitting myself." "Don't worry, Merse. It's going to be OK. We *won't* crash." I thought, "Thank God f...
Rosenfeld runs the metropolitan staff, the Post's largest, like a football coach. He prods his players, letting them know that he has promised the front office results, pleading, yelling, cajoling, pacing, working his facial expressions for instant e...
Right, then.” He pointed across to a bank of phones against the wall. “If you want to check your voice mail, now’s the time.” “Where’s my phone?” “Out of service.” “It was fine in the car.” “It’s not fine now.” “What’d...
Why isn’t it fun to watch a videotape of last night’s football game even when we don’t know who won? Because the fact that the game has already been played precludes the possibility that our cheering will somehow penetrate the television, trave...
My parents didn't raise me to be religious. The closest we come to worship is the Trinity of Visa, Mastercard, and American Express. I think the Merryweather cheerleaders confuse me because I missed out on Sunday School. It has to be a miracle. There...
OMG Danita, it’s hopeless out here,” I moaned while we sat watching her son’s football game. I did not want to laugh, but he looked so cute struggling to run up the field bearing his weight in equipment. As he worked on his Heisman’s highligh...
As you travel around medieval England you will come across a sport described by some contemporaries as 'abominable ... more common, undignified and worthless than any other game, rarely ending but with some loss, accident or disadvantage to the playe...
If you want to see how fast I run, just give me a football helmet and notice how my helmet collects bug carcasses like a car bumper.
