Quotes of: Coffee-table Keyword

Instead of cream, I like fog in my coffee. Makes me feel like I’m drinking the mystery that is love.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I drink coffee the way most men tie their shoes, and I’m liable to slip on a sip if I don’t follow their lead.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee smells like how I imagine heaven will be scented. Would you like to spend eternity in my nose?

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’m probably the best love you’ve never had. And why is that? Oh yeah, because I’m in a relationship with a tall cup of coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee excites my mind in ways not describable my words. The closest approximation is a sperm whale in orgasm, only silent and bubblier.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I want to start a band called the Band-Aids. Free coffee for all who come to our show. We’d perform for the deaf and the asleep.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I yell at yellow like I purr at pink. If they were more fluid, I’d pour meows in my morning coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I folded my map in half and used it to make a sandwich. Then I dipped it in coffee and ate all of Europe and half of Russia.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I prefer to urinate standing on my feet, rather than doing a handstand. You should see me enjoy a cup of coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Love is a lot like coffee in that I can never seem to get enough of it, and hers is hot and mine is iced.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Trying to remember a dream from a decade ago is like trying to catch fog in a coffee filter. I could subsist on morning mist.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Coffee has a way of waking my soul, much like drinking liquid heaven would.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Enjoying a cup of coffee and a good book, is there anything better? Only if literature were liquid and drinkable.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Her hair was the color of coffee without cream, and she fell in love with me when I poured sugar on her. Probably.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I don’t eat breakfast, but I do drink it. Coffee, it’s the most important meal of the day.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Drinking coffee is like chugging a galloping racehorse, and that’s why I’m wearing this baby carrier on my back—to hold the jockey.


I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I’ll start a threesome factory that also makes sex trees. How else am I supposed to grow coffee?

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

I am the Today Monster, and I’m hungry for yesterday. And I’m thirsty for coffee, which is like drinking tomorrow.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Decaffeinated coffee is like orgasmless sex. I guess I’ll take some, if you know anyone who’s offering.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

Business idea: People like to eat and drive, so why not make edible cars? Instead of gasoline, they’d run on coffee.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee

The best way to wake up is with coffee and an erection.
The cool part is one can stir the other.

I love Blue Ribbon Coffee