Randal Graves: [to Dante] You're my best friend, and I love you... In a totally heterosexual way. Jay: [to Silent Bob] Yeah, right.
Randal Graves: [getting Gawking Guy's attention from watching Dante and Emma make out behind the counter] Avert your eyes, ya' perv! Gawking Guy: Not very hygienic. That's all I'm gonna tell you.
Dante Hicks: [about Becky] No, we had sex one night after work a few weeks ago. Randal Graves: What? Where? Dante Hicks: Here, on the prep station table. Randal Graves: Ew, that's my prep table.
Randal Graves: You can't get a chick, ya mook. You're too weird and sad. Elias: [gets angry] I turn down chicks left and right. Randal Graves: Your chicks *are* your left and right.
I'm pretty much a 9-to-5 kind of guy. I usually get to work about 8 in the morning, and I work until 4 or 5, and sometimes I work on Saturday and Sunday mornings. Pretty much I keep the same hours as an accountant or clerk or whatever.
And so every one of us in the FBI, I don't care if it's a file clerk someplace or an agent there or a computer specialist, understands that our main mission is to protect the public from another September 11, another terrorist attack.
The streets of New York and some wards of its venerable institutions were packed with people who, despite being entirely forsaken, had episodes of glory that made the career of Alexander the Great seem like a day in the life of a file clerk.
This is the kind of corruption we understand, the corruption of the petty clerk writ large, and so this is the kind of corruption we look for. This is the kind of guilt we expect and understand: personal, targeted, involving suitcases. We really need...
I live right next to a grocery store and I don't know if it's the bachelor in me, but I just go in and shop for what I need for the day. I'm an idiot because I don't shop for the whole week. The check out clerks always crack jokes about the fact that...
I literally remember when I made my audition tape for 'Buffy'. I went to the Arsenal Mall. I got my outfit at Contempo Casuals in the Arsenal Mall and put some safety pins in my jeans. I remember telling whoever the clerk was that I was making a tape...
[a bunch of cops and fireman run into Mooby's and see the "interspecies erotica"] Fireman: What the fuck? [the donkey brays as the Police Officer sees Randal's "Porch Monkey 4 Life" shirt] Officer: [shouting] PORCH MONKEY? Randal Graves: Oh, no no, i...
Randal Graves: How the fuck do you always have like two good-looking girls who want you? You're the most hideous fucking chud I've ever met, and you always have a pair of girls fighting over you.
Randal Graves: Ladies and gentlemen, and you, Elias! Straight from the debauchery capital of the world, Tijuana Mexico! Dante Hicks: Oh, God, no. Randal Graves: Oh, God, yes! [snaps his fingers and an incredibly elaborate lighting set-up is activated...
Randal Graves: The Transformers were a total slight against God. In as much as God sent his only begotten son to die on the cross to redeem mankind and all we did to pay him back was make terrible fucking cartoons, like the Transformers.
Wife: Did he say 'cock stain'? What the fuck is cock stain? Husband: I don't know. That's some white freaky stuff. White boys get white women to do everything. You wanna do a cock stain?
Randal Graves: I don't mind people snickering at the stupid uniform I've gotta wear, but I'll be damned if I let some self-righteous lucky turd come in here and treat me and Dante like we're a couple of fucking porch monkeys!
Marge Gunderson: [to Radisson hotel concierge] I'm doing really super there, thanks. I am Mrs. Gunderson. I have a reservation. Hotel Clerk: Yep, you sure do, Mrs. Gunderson. Marge Gunderson: [smiling] Is there a phone down here, you think?
Norman Ellison: I've never even seen the inside of a tank. I'm a clerk typist. Was heading to Fifth Corps HQ, and they pulled me off the truck. They sent me here. It's gotta be a mistake. Grady 'Coon-Ass' Travis: Mistake? Army don't make mistakes. It...
his face, though lined, bore few traces of anxiety. But, perhaps the confidential bachelor clerks in Tellson's Bank were principally occupied with the cares of other people; and perhaps second-hand cares, like second-hand clothes, come easily off and...
Work should be personal. For all of us. Not just for the artist and entrepreneur. Work should have meaning for the accountant, the construction worker, the technologist, the manager and the clerk.
But when first the two black dragons sprang out of the fog upon the small clerk, they had merely the effect of all miracles – they changed the universe. He discovered the fact that all romantics know – that adventures happen on dull days, and n...
