The men were smashing windows and aiming their weapons through them. The driver had opened the door and was shouting for the women and children to get out and run and hide. But Ilina realized in some vague way that he never managed to actually say th...
He is dead and I, the self serving coward that I am, still live. Life is not fair. There is no pattern. People die at random. Something everyone knows, but no one truly believes. They think that when it comes to them there will be a lesson, a meaning...
Don’t worry, though, because Prince Hubert is very handsome and kind. That’s all you wanted in a boyfriend, wasn’t it?” “No,” I said. She raised an eyebrow. “It must be. If you had admired any other qualities you would have developed th...
Dante Hicks: I can't believe you. I finally get my shit together. I'm hours from getting outta here, and really starting my life, and you somehow figure out a way to obliterate all that and reduce me to a convict. Randal Graves: Oh, yeah, it's my fau...
Dante Hicks: Why *do* the Go-Karts help? Randal Graves: I don't know. They just remind me of a better time in my life. Dante Hicks: Like when? Randal Graves: Like when we were young and the world was still in front of us. Dante Hicks: We're not that ...
Randal Graves: I thought you weren't even allowed to watch a lot of TV in your house cause you're all Christian and shit. Elias: Well, as it turns out, cars and trucks that turn into robots aren't really that blasphemous. Because my pastor says that ...
Kurtz: Did they say why, Willard, why they want to terminate my command? Willard: I was sent on a classified mission, sir. Kurtz: It's no longer classified, is it? Did they tell you? Willard: They told me that you had gone totally insane, and that yo...
THIS SHOP IS HAUNTED by the ghosts Of all great literature, in hosts; We sell no fakes or trashes. Lovers of books are welcome here, No clerks will babble in your ear, Please smoke--but don't drop ashes! ---- Browse as long as you like. Prices of all...
Raoul Duke: [narrating] Ignore this terrible drug. Yeah. Pretend it's not happening. Raoul Duke: Yeah. HI THERE! My name... is, uh, Raoul Duke. I'm on the list. Free lunch, final wisdom, total coverage. I have my attorneyyyyyyy... with me, and I real...
[G]randma was always afraid of something. She set aside time each day for dread. And not nameless dread. She was quite specific about the various tragedies stalking her. She feared pneumonia, muggers, riptides, meteors, drunk drivers, drug addicts, s...
I had never been a dresser. My shirts were all faded and shrunken, 5 or 6 years old, threadbare. My pants the same. I hated department stores, I hated the clerks, they acted so superior, they seemed to know the secret of life, they had a confidence I...
Dante Hicks: Have you become so embittered that you now feel the need to attack the handicapped? Randal Graves: What handicap? They guy's just in a wheelchair, it's not like he's Anne Frank or something. Dante Hicks: Anne Frank? Randal Graves: Yeah, ...
[Uncle Charlie visits the bank] Uncle Charlie: Hello, Joe. Can you stop embezzling a minute and give me your attention? Joseph Newton: Oh, uh, Charles, we don't joke about such things here. Uncle Charlie: Aw, what's a little shortage in the books at ...
Tonight, I decided to take a stroll down to my local liquor store. Maybe I’ll find a refreshment to wash down this full moon. I hate showing up & the clerk fucking knows my name, perhaps because I’m a regular. Anyways got my shit, left…barely c...
Elias: Since God created man, and man created the Transformers, the Transformers are like a gift from God, Randal! Randal Graves: No sir. They are not a gift from God. They are an unholy curse from the beast we call the Desolate One. Elias: I don't r...
Randal Graves: [about the Go-Karts] It just centers me, alright? Kinda the way jerking off at work centers you. Dante Hicks: I only did it that one time. And it wasn't to center me. Randal Graves: Yeah, it was to cum. Well I dunno about you, but cumm...
Randal Graves: [to Emma] You became persona non-nookie to me the minute he started diddling your pooter. Emma: So thinking of me in terms of being a girl kind of creeps you out, does it? Randal Graves: Sweetheart, I don't think of you in terms of bei...
Dante Hicks: What are you writing over there, your memoirs? Randal Graves: I'm battling this jackass on his blog's message boards. Dante Hicks: About what? Randal Graves: About how he's got too much free time and no life. A guy in a wheelchair who's ...
There would therefore have been all the more delight at the birth of the first son William within less than a year of Margaret's death, tinged with more than a little anxiety, in view of the fateful words , 'here began plague', in the burial part of ...
Alcohol does not a change a person’s fundamental value system. People’s personalities when intoxicated, even though somewhat altered, still bear some relationship to who they are when sober. When you are drunk you may behave in ways that are sill...
Randal Graves: What? What is the big deal? Since when did it become a crime to say porch monkey? Becky: Oh, I don't know, since forever? Randal Graves: Why? Dante Hicks: Because porch monkey's a racial slur against black people! Randal Graves: No it'...
