Men have worked as essentially shop keepers and store clerks for a lot longer than they have worked on assembly lines. There have been waiters forever. Lawyers are the world's second oldest profession. Teaching was a male-only profession for centurie...
As I look out at you all gathered here I want to say that I don't see a room full of Parisians in top hats and diamonds and silk dresses. I don't see bankers and housewives and store clerks. No. I address you all tonight as you truly are: wizards, me...
Teen #1: You guys holding? Jay: Shit, everything but coke, heroin and your cock. Teen #2: What? Teen #1: How 'bout a nickel bag, man? Jay: [singing] Oh, fifteen bucks, little man, put that shit in my hand. Nong, nong, ning-a ning-a nong nong! Teen #1...
Elias: Whoo! We's all gonna get drunk and get laid! Dante Hicks: Oh my God, is Elias hammered? Jay: Isn't it awesome? My man smoked two blunts full of skunk! Elias: Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love a lot of pussy! Jay: [looks at Silent Bob] Yo, we ...
Randal Graves: [describing the Lord of the Rings Trilogy] Here's the first movie. [walks a few steps, staring blankly] Randal Graves: And here's the second movie. [walks a few steps again, pretends to trip] Hobbit Lover: He is way off, loser. Randal ...
[Randal bursts into the office] Randal Graves: [laughing] I made fun of "Lord of the Rings" so hard, it made some supergeek puke all over the counter. Where do we keep the mop and bucket so I can have Elias clean it up? Dante Hicks: In the closet, wi...
Dolores Fuller: Ed, what's *my* motivation? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You're the file clerk. You're running into the next room and you run into Janet. Dolores Fuller: But are we good friends or is she just a casual acquaintance? Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dolor...
Clark: I'm just trying to treat my family to a little fun. Ellen Griswold: Oh spare me, Clark, I know your brand of family fun. Tomorrow you'll probably kill the desk clerk, hold up a McDonalds, and drive us 1000 miles out of the way to see the world...
To use the term 'clerk' as an insult is simply a banal vulgarity; Pessoa and Svevo, however would have welcomed it as a just attribute of the poet. The latter does not resemble Achilles or Diomedes, ranting on their war-chariots, but is more like Uly...
The champions of socialism call themselves progressives, but they recommend a system which is characterized by rigid observance of routine and by a resistance to every kind of improvement. They call themselves liberals, but they are intent upon aboli...
Every morning I called Aeroflot to ask about my suitcase. "Oh, it's you," sighed the clerk. "Yes, I have your request right here. Address: Yasnaya Polyana, Tolstoy's house. When we find the suitcase we will send it to you. In the meantime, are you fa...
Ian's eyes settled on him, his expression grim. He bypassed everything, coming to a stop in front of the nervous young male. “I want all of your medicines to relieve fever, including liquids and capsules. Plus, I want a thermometer, the best one yo...
Randal Graves: That look was so gay. I thought Sam was gonna tell the little hobbits to take a walk so he could saunter over to Frodo and suck his fucking cock. Now *that* would have been an Academy Award worthy ending. Hobbit Lover: Hey faggot, they...
Jay: You know, sometimes I wish I did a little more with my life instead of hanging out in front of places selling weed and shit. Like, maybe be an animal doctor. Why not me? I like seals and shit. Or maybe an astronaut. Yeah. Like, be the first moth...
Randal Graves: Emma, are you like this 'cause you have an unnaturally large clit? Emma: You just *had* to tell him, didn't ya? Dante Hicks: It kinda came out one day! Randal Graves: He says it's so big it's almost like a little cock, which says all k...
Elias: [removing a smoking black basket of fries] I don't think these look right. Randal Graves: Jesus! Step away from the fryer before you burn us all alive! Elias: It's not my fault you abandoned your post! Randal Graves: Was it too much to ask tha...
Sexy Stud: So, where're we doin' this thing? Randal Graves: Oh, right inside the restaurant. Sexy Stud: You're kidding. Randal Graves: Not spacious enough? Sexy Stud: No, it's plenty spacious, just kinda weird, isn't it? Randal Graves: Kinda weird? Y...
Randal Graves: Seventeen year olds nowadays are crazy. They're up for anything. They even like it when you go ass to mouth. Dante Hicks: Oh, my God. Randal Graves: What? Dante Hicks: Are you serious? Randal Graves: I don't fuck around when it comes t...
Jay: We can lend you the money under two conditions. One, we can hang out in front of your store and you can't call the cops. And two, you two have to blow each other right now. And we get to watch. And then you have to go ass to mouth. [Dante, Randa...
[Ryan and Natalie arrived at the Hilton hotel where Ryan jumps to the counter to check with his Hilton Honors card; A woman becomes insulted by this] Business Woman: He just waltzes in and cuts in line? Hilton Clerk: We reserve priority assistance fo...
we can but stand aside, and let them Rush upon their Fate! There is scarcely anything of yours, upon which it is so dangerous to Rush, as your Fate. You may Rush upon your Potato-beds, or your Strawberry-beds, without doing much harm: you may even Ru...
