John Mooney: Are you disappointed? Charlie: Disappointed? Why should I be disappointed? I got rose bushes didn't I? I got a used car, didn't I? This other guy, what'd you call him? John Mooney: The beneficiary. Charlie: Yeah him, he got $3,000,000 bu...
Joey Gazelle: [after Teresa confesses to killing the pedophiles] Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Why couldn't you just have taken the kid and left? Teresa Gazelle: I have never seen evil before tonight, Joe. Real fucking evil. Okay...
Remy: [cooking a mushroom over the chimney] The key is to keep turning it. Get the smoky flavor niiice and even... [thunder rumbles in the distance] Emile: That storm's getting closer. Hey, Remy? You think that maybe we shouldn't be so... [lightning ...
Bertier: Well, you think I look banged up, you should see my Camaro. Big Ju: Man, I sure am sorry, man. I should have been there with you. Bertier: What are you talking about? You would've been in that bed right next to me. Big Ju: You can't be hurt ...
Fathead Newman: Ray, this fool, Joe Adams, is trying to fine me for being late. Ray Charles: What time did you get here? Fathead Newman: What? Just now. The band's still setting up. Jeff never... Joe Adams: I'm not Jeff. Fathead Newman: That's a fact...
Ray Charles: That's Diz. Emanon! Quincy Jones: Yeah, but what's it spell backwards? Ray Charles: Come on man, why don't you give me something difficult? "No name." Quincy Jones: Say, daddy-o, what axe you play? Ray Charles: Uh, piano. Just blew in fr...
Sefton: Okay, Herr Preisshoffer, let's have the mailbox. Price: The what? Sefton: The one you took out of the corner of your bunk and put in this pocket! [pulls a black queen out of Price's jacket] Sefton: Let me show you how they did it. They did it...
Lloyd Dobler: What? I'm sorry I said that. Forget I said it, it's what I thought I meant, but... Diane Court: Lloyd... Lloyd Dobler: ...forget it. Diane Court: [making air quotes] "I love you," okay? Lloyd Dobler: What is that? What are you doing wit...
[after learning of the Doomsday Machine] President Merkin Muffley: But this is absolute madness, Ambassador! Why should you *build* such a thing? Ambassador de Sadesky: There were those of us who fought against it, but in the end we could not keep up...
Terence: We wrote one last night outside the mini mart. Morris called it "Stuart Drives A Comfortable Car" and then like in country songs, you know, in parentheses it says "There's Usually Someone in the Trunk." And, and um, I came up with a tune jus...
Mama Montana: Son? I wish I had one! He's a bum! He was a bum then and he's a bum now! Who do you think you are, hm? We haven't heard a word from you in five years. Cinco anos. You suddenly show up here and you throw money at us? You think you can *b...
James T. Kirk: Why is there a man in that torpedo? Khan: There are men and women in all those torpedoes, Captain. I put them there. James T. Kirk: Who the hell are you? Khan: A remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as ...
[Dragon looms above Donkey] Donkey: Oh, what large teeth you have! [Dragon roars] Donkey: I mean, white sparkly teeth! I know you probably hear this all the time from your food, but you must bleach or something 'cause that's one dazzling smile you go...
Captain von Trapp: Now, Fraulein. I want a truthful answer from you. Maria: Yes, Captain? Captain von Trapp: Is it possible - or could I have just imagined it - have my children by any chance been climbing trees today? Maria: Yes, Captain. Captain vo...
Batiatus: Marcus Licinius Crassus. Most noble radiance, first general of the Republic, father and defender of Rome, honour my house. Bless it with your presence. Wine! Sweetmeats! Can't you see that Their Honours are exhausted? Have the goodness to s...
Medic Wade: Actually, the trick to falling asleep is trying to stay awake. Mellish: How is that, Wade? Medic Wade: Well, when my mother was an intern, she used to work late through the night... sleep through the day. So the only time we'd ever get to...
Cole Sear: [angrily] I don't like it when people look at me like that! Stanley Cunningham: Like what? Cole Sear: Stop it! Stanley Cunningham: I don't know how else to look, I... Cole Sear: You're a stuttering Stanley! Stanley Cunningham: Excuse me? C...
Anakin Skywalker: Master Windu, I must talk to you. Mace Windu: Not now, Skywalker. We have just received word that Obi-Wan has destroyed General Grievous. We're on our way to make sure the Chancellor returns emergency powers back to the Senate. Anak...
[Spock Prime and Kirk arrive at a derelict Starfleet outpost, and discover... ] Scotty: You realize how unacceptable this is? Spock Prime: Fascinating! Scotty: Okay, I'm sure you're just doing your job, but could you not have come a wee bit sooner? S...
Guard: Dunstan Thorn, not again! Tristan: It's Tristan, actually. Guard: Oh. You do look a bit like your father. And I suppose you intend to cross the wall as well, do you? Well you can forget it - go home! Tristan: Cross the wall as well as who? Gua...
Bishop: [toasting the princes] To the new King of Stormhold. Whichever of you fine fellows it might be. [they acknowledge him and sip their grog. The Bishop chokes and collapses forward, dead] Tertius: Hmm. [Tertius chortles nervously as they eye eac...
