All you have to do [to win a Pulitzer Prize] is spend your life running from one awful place to another, write about every horrible thing you see. The civilized world reads about it, then forgets it, but pats you on the head for doing it and gives yo...
Van Gogh on Christmas: And now we’re slowly heading towards winter, and many dread it, but Christmas is wonderful, it’s like the moss on the roofs and like the pine and the holly and the ivy in the snow. Isleworth, 10 November 1876
Snow harder! Snow more! Snow blizzards galore! I can’t get enough Of the fluffy white stuff! Snow! Snow! Snow! Snow a ton! Snow a heap! Snow ten feet deep! I wouldn’t cry If it snowed til July. Snow! Snow! Snow!
I discovered that the real meaning of Christmas has nothing to do with you at all. It is about a very special gift. I want to you tell you about this gift.
On both sides in 1915 there would be more dead on any single day than yards gained in the entire year. And there would be nearly four more years of attrition--not to determine who was right, but who was left.
My parents were kind of over protective people. Me and my sister had to play in the backyard all the time. They bought us bikes for Christmas but wouldn't let us ride in the street, we had to ride in the backyard. Another Christmas, my dad got me a b...
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Meanwhile, I struggled for exactly the right BB gun hint. It had to be firm, but subtle. Ralphie: Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski's candy store! [everyone stares at Ralphie] Ralphie as Adult: [narrating...
Miss Shields: [reading Ralphie's theme in his fantasy, she clutches his essay to her chest] Oh! The theme I've been waiting for all my life. Listen to this sentence: "A Red Ryder BB gun with a compass in the stock, and this thing which tells time". P...
Mr. Parker: It's a Major Award! Swede: A Major Award? Shucks, I wouldn't know that. It looks like a lamp. Mr. Parker: It is a lamp, you nincompoop, but it's a Major Award. I won it! Swede: Damn, hell, you say won it? Mr. Parker: Yeah, mind power, Swe...
Ralphie: Well, what have we got here, folks? Mr. Parker: Well, we figure it's Black Bart, uh, Ralph. Ralphie: Well, it's just me and my trusty old Red Ryder carbine-action, 200-shot, range model air rifle. Lucky I got a compass in the stock.
[after Clark fails at lighting all the exterior Christmas lights at the "lighting ceremony" in front of the entire family] Frances: Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was. Audrey: He worked re...
Sam the Eagle: Tomorrow, you become a man of business! Young Scrooge: I'm looking forward to it, Headmaster. Sam the Eagle: Mm, you will love business. It is the AMERICAN WAY! Gonzo: [whispers] Sam... [whispers in Sam's ear] Sam the Eagle: Oh... It i...
Gonzo: Once again, I must ask you to remember that the Marleys were dead, and decaying in their graves. Rizzo the Rat: Yuck! Gonzo: [whispering] That one thing you must remember, or nothing that follows will seem wondrous. Rizzo the Rat: Why are you ...
Rizzo the Rat: Oh, Gonzo, speak to me! I mean, Mr. Dickens. Charlie! Are you hurt? Gonzo: [gets up] To say that Scrooge became startled would be untrue. Still the moment had passed, and the world was as it should be. Rizzo the Rat: He ain't hurt. Did...
Santa: [from in the bag] Me on vacation? On Christmas Eve? Barrel: Where are we taking him? Shock: Where? Lock: To Oogie Boogie, of course. There's no where in the whole world more comfortable than *that*. And Jack *said* to make him comfortable, did...
Police officer: Attention. Attention, citizens. Terrible news. There is still no sign of Santa Claus. Although the imposter has been shut down. It looks like Christmas will have to be cancelled this year. I repeat: The imposter has been shot down, bu...
The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today.
When you drink milk under the palm tree, people will say that it is palm wine.
Though the palm tree in the jungle is big, who knows how big its yield will be?
Though a tree grows ever so high, the falling leaves return to its roots.
Often a branch is broken off the tree by the one who has rested in its shadow.
