Eddie: I don't know if I oughta go sailin' down no hill with nothin' between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic. Clark: Do you really think it matters, Eddie?
Mrs. Helen Shirley: Yes officer, it seems my husband's been abducted. The man was, was wearing a blue leisure suit. Plates were from Kansas. He was a huge, beastly, bulging man.
Eddie: If only I had that money Catherine and I gave to that TV preacher who was screwin' that hockey player. Clark: What about the kids? Eddie: His kids can fend for themselves.
Clark: Our holidays were always such a mess. Clark Sr.: Oh, yeah. Clark: How'd you get through it? Clark Sr.: I had a lot of help from Jack Daniels.
Margo: I hope he falls and breaks his neck. Todd: Oh, I'm sure he'll fall. But I don't think we're lucky enough for him to break his neck.
Margo: [a knock on the door] Go away Todd. [another knock] Margo: If you want to come in you'll have to break down the goddamn door! [Several SWAT officers bust down the door]
Peg Boggs: [talking on phone] Well, of course, we'll still have our Christmas party. Why wouldn't we? [talking on other end] Peg Boggs: Well, you may think that, but you're wrong.
George Bailey: Merry Christmas, Mr. Potter! Mr. Potter: And Happy New Year to you, in jail! Why don't you go on home? They're waiting for you!
Pratt: Is it true that you went twelve-for-twelve with the Maxim Girls last year? Tony Stark: That is an excellent question. Yes and no. March and I had a scheduling conflict but fortunately the Christmas cover was twins.
Harry: Its hard to believe it was just last Christmas that Harmony and I changed the world. And we didn't mean to and it didn't last long. You know a thing like that can't.
[having just sung the words "Love is all around me" instead of "Christmas is all around me" yet again] Billy Mack: Oh! Fuck wank bugger shitting arse head and hole!
Jack Skellington: The job I have for you is top secret. It requires skill, craft, cunning, mis... Shock: And we thought you didn't *like* us, Jack.
[to his new creation, as he inserts part of his own brain] Dr. Finkelstein: What a joy to think of all *we'll* have in common. *We'll* have conversations *worth* having.
Clown: [singing] I am the Clown with the tear-away face! [Pulls face off] Clown: [Demonic voice] Here in a *flash* and gone without a trace! [vanishes in a puff of smoke]
Harlequin Demon: [singing] Won't they be impressed, I am a ge-ni-us! See how I transform this old rat inTO a most deLIGHTful hat!
Jack Skellington: [singing] And on a dark cold night, under full moonlight, he flies into the fog like a vulture in the sky! [in a deeper tone] Jack Skellington: And they call him, Sandy... Clawssss...!
Oogie Boogie Man: [after having his sack body ripped open] Now look what you've done! My bugs! My bugs! My bugs!
Jack Skellington: Sally! I need your help most of all. Sally: You certainly do, Jack. I've had the most horrible vision! Jack Skellington: That's splendid!
Mayor: The King of Halloween has been blown to smithereens! Skeleton Jack is now a pile of dust! Lock, Shock, Barrel: Pile of dust! Pile of dust! Skeleton Jack is a pile of dust!
Shock: [singing] I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb. Barrel: *I'm* not the dumb one. Lock: You're no fun! Shock: Shut up! Lock: Make me!
Lock, Shock, Barrel: [singing] Kidnap the Sandy Claws, / beat him with a stick, / lock him up for ninety years, / see what makes him tick.
