Kind 'Guardian' readers have been forwarding me round robin Christmas newsletters for years now: lengthy missives full of perfect children, exotic holidays, talented pets and endless, tedious detail. The notes that accompanied them revealed they had ...
With a track like 'White Christmas,' everybody has done that song in every format you can imagine, so I just looked at the chords at that particular song and what chords would make it work. That's kind of quite a sad song, and I had this idea of some...
Happy, happy Christmas, that can win us back to the delusions of our childish days; that can recall to the old man the pleasures of his youth; that can transport the sailor and the traveller, thousands of miles away, back to his own fire-side and his...
Christmas is not something that sprang from the musings of some person who creatively devised caricatures of elves, spiraling candy canes, visions of a magical city whose foundation was nestled in the far reaches of the North Pole, or embellishments ...
Ellen: Oh Aunt Bethany, you shouldn't have done that. Aunt Bethany: Oh dear, did I break wind? Uncle Lewis: Jesus, did the room clear out, Bethany? Hell no, she means presents. You shouldn't have brought presents.
John McClane: You throw quite a party. I didn't realize they celebrated Christmas in Japan. Joseph Takagi: Hey, we're flexible. Pearl Harbor didn't work out so we got you with tape decks.
Theo: [as the SWAT Team closes in] [over the CB] Theo: All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover fo...
[referring to Ron's Christmas jumper] Hermione Granger: I can't understand why you don't want to wear it, Ronald. Ron Weasley: Cause I'll look like a bloody idiot, that's why. Hermione Granger: No more than usual.
[Joshua blasts his way into Murtaugh's house and finds it empty. In the living room, 1951's "Scrooge" is playing on the television] Ebeneezer Scrooge: Tell me, what day is it? Mrs. Dilber: What day? Mr. Joshua: [shoots the television] Goddamn Christm...
Alfred, Macy janitor: Yeah, there's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.
Jack Skellington: [singing] What's this? What's this? There's color everywhere! What's this? There's white things in the air! What's this? I can't believe my eyes, I must be dreaming; wake up, Jack, this isn't fair! What's this?
Sheryl Yoast: In Virginia, high school football is a way of life, it's bigger than Christmas day. My daddy coached in Alexandria, he worked so hard my momma left him, but I stayed with coach, he needed me on that field.
I pat the brand new twenty-seven inch Macintosh computers Mr. Foley brought us. 'These boxes alone should make both of us scream like it's Christmas morning! Snap out of it. Santa came! Now we get to play with all of our toys!
Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun; Conspiring with him how to load and bless With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run; To bend with apples the moss’d cottage-trees, And fill all fruit with ri...
It is convenient for the old men to blame Eve. To insist we are damned because a country girl talked to the snake one afternoon long ago. Children must starve in Somalia for that, and old women be abandoned in our greatest cities. It’s why we will ...
A muffled voice startled them both. "When are you going to her?" They pulled away. In the ballroom windows, noses and hands pressed against the glass, were the girls. They stood among the prickly rosebushes, beaming wicked little grins. Delphinium an...
...the concept of marketing is almost as old as humanity itself...suffice it to say here that it took almost no time for a wily serpent to sell Adam and Eve on a shiny apple from the Tree of Knowledge, at which point they became not only the first hu...
These days, I strive to be a bitch, because not being one sucks. Not being a bitch means not having your voice heard. Not being a bitch means you agree with all the bullshit. Not being a bitch means you don't appreciate all the other bitches who have...
Each day before the end of eve she sought her lover, nor would him leave, until the stars were dimmed, and day came glimmering eastward silver-grey. Then trembling-veiled she would appear, and dance before him, half in fear; there flitting just befor...
The feeling I have reminds me of New Year’s Eve, when the countdown is coming and I’m not quite sure whether to grab my camera or just live in the moment. Usually I grab the camera and later regret it when the picture doesn’t turn out. Then I f...
Flashes of my past lives kept crawling across my vision. I had Akima’s laugh, Eve’s blind ability to love, and Marrah’s unwavering belief in family. I was all of these women and none of them. Their souls carried along inside of me but unmistaka...
