Boy in School: [Firemen come to pull Flick off pole] Holy cow, it's the fire department! Ralphie: Oh no... Boy in School: [policemen come] Wow, it's the cops!
Ralphie: [Giving his teacher a fruit basket instead of just an apple] I thought you might like something different. Ralphie as Adult: Yes, clearly, a little bribe never hurts.
Mom: [Playing Santa] And this is for daddy... [Picks up a gift-wrapped bowling ball and drops it in The Old Man's Lap] Mom: Here, from me to you. The Old Man: [high-pitched] Thanks a lot!
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] There has never been a kid who didn't believe vaguely but incessantly that he would be stricken blind before he reached 21, and then they'd be sorry.
Ralphie as Adult: C+? Oh no, it CAN'T be! Ralphie: C+? Miss Shields: [in Ralphie's fantasy, dressed as the Wicked Witch] C+! C+! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Clark: [Finally revealing his Christmas Bonus] It's a membership to the Jelly of the Month Club. Eddie: [Overwhelmed, almost choking on his eggnog] Clark, that's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.
Eddie: [walks in with a bound and gagged Mr. Shirley tied with a big red ribbon] Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas, Clark. [to Mr. Shirley] Eddie: You about ready to do some kissing?
[Uncle Lewis lights his cigar accidentally burns the Christmas tree] Clark: Lewis? My tree! Uncle Lewis: So what's the matter with you? Clark: Look what you've done to my tree!
[first lines] Azim: He says "Christmas." So I say to him, [in Turkish] Azim: "Should we go shopping?" [English] Azim: The kid's 16. He says, "But uncle, it's Christmas."
Tom: Look, it's all completely chicken soup. Nick the Greek: It's what? Tom: It's kosher. As Christmas. Nick the Greek: The Jews don't celebrate Christmas, Tom.
Rizzo the Rat: [a nearby clock strikes the hour] Oh, what was that? Gonzo: Two o'clock. Rizzo the Rat: Is it too early for breakfast? Gonzo: Yes. Rizzo the Rat: Oh good, suppertime!
Rizzo the Rat: [falls down a chimney ignoring Gonzo] Hey! I'm stuck! Get me out of here! Gonzo: I knew you weren't suited for literature.
Robert Marley: Look, it's Ebeneezer Scrooge! Jacob Marley: Looking older and more wicked than ever. Robert Marley: I knew he wouldn't disappoint us!
And how did little Tim behave?” asked Mrs Cratchit, when she had rallied Bob on his credulity and Bob had hugged his daughter to his heart’s content. “As good as gold,” said Bob, “and better. Somehow he gets thoughtful, sitting by himself s...
I am sure I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round -- apart from the veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything belonging to it can be apart from that -- as a good time: a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant ti...
The rest of the year, I wondered if the point of Christmas was just spending money and getting fat and opening gifts. Indulging. But when Christmas finally comes, and that warm, tingly, mints-and-sweaters-and-fireplace-fires feeling gathers in the bo...
Surrender is the only path to supernatural living.
What passes the lips goes straight to the hips.
Eve Kendall: Patience is a virtue. Roger Thornhill: So is breathing.
WALL.E: [to John] WALL-E. John: Uh, John. WALL.E: EVE? John: Uh, no, John.
Margo Channing: I detest cheap sentiment.
