Ferris: Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.
Grace: Oh, he's very popular Ed. The sportos, the motorheads, geeks, sluts, bloods, wastoids, dweebies, dickheads - they all adore him. They think he's a righteous dude.
Singing Nurse: I heard that you were feeling ill. Headache, fever, and a chill. I came to help restore your pluck, cause I'm the nurse who likes to...
Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off. Cameron: How? Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.
[a baseball game is on television] Ed Rooney: What's the score? Pizza Joint Owner: Nothin' nothin'. Ed Rooney: [not really listening] Who's winning? Pizza Joint Owner: The Bears.
[the guys just notice the "additional miles" on the car] Ferris: [to the audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk. Cameron: Aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh! [Cameron's screams can be heard all across Chicago]
Ferris: [while running home, Ferris runs past two bikini-clad sunbathers, then returns] Hi, how you doing? I'm Ferris Bueller.
Ferris: [Hiding on the floor of the taxi while his father is in the car next to him] What's he doing? Sloane: He's licking the glass and making obscene gestures with his hands.
Cameron: [while kicking his father's car] Who do you love? Who do you love? You love a car!
Attendant's Co-Pilot: [having gotten away with taking the priceless 1961 Ferrari 250 GT California on a wild joyride] Yeah, man, we gotta' do this again!
Boy in Police Station: You wear too much eye makeup. My sister wears too much. People think she's a whore.
Ed Rooney: [Whistling for the dog with a vase in his hands] Come here doggy! Look what Uncle Ed's got for you, you little fucker!
[Ringo gets a large pile of fan mail] John: Must have cost you a fortune in stamps, Ringo. George: He comes from a large family.
Man on train: Don't take that tone with me, young man. I fought the war for your sort. Ringo: I bet you're sorry you won.
Ringo: [arrested, at the police station] I demand to see my solicitor! Police Inspector: What's his name? Ringo: Well, if you're gonna get technical about it...
John: Ringo, what are you up to? Ringo: [Ringo is sitting under a hairdryer wearing a beefeater's bearskin hat and reading a magazine] Page five! John: You always fancied yourself as a guardsman, didn't you?
Man On Train: I shall call the guard! Paul: Ah, but what? They don't take kindly to insults, you know. Let's go have some coffee and leave the kennel to Lassie!
[Huge stacks of fan mail is delivered] Ringo: None for me, then? Norm: Sorry. John: [handing Ringo one letter] Here, this'll keep you busy.
Grandfather: It's your nose, you know. Fans are funny that way, they take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a nose. Ringo: Aw, you pick on your own.
Ringo: Funny, really, 'cause I'd never thought of it, but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it? Grandfather: You're only right.
Eames: They come here every day to sleep? Elderly Bald Man: [towards Cobb] No. They come to be woken up. The dream has become their reality. Who are you to say otherwise, son?
