Ralphie as Adult: [narrating, after BB gun shot bounces off target and hits his face] Oh my god, I shot my eye out!
Santa Claus: If Higbee thinks I'm working one minute past 9:00, he can kiss my foot. Ho ho ho.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master.
Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Grover Dill! Farkus's crummy little toadie. Mean! Rotten! His lips curled over his green teeth.
Mr. Parker: [Reading Telegram and doing a little jig] Tonight! Tonight! It's coming Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Tonight! Hot Damn, Tonight!
Goggles: I like Santa. Ralphie: Yeah. Ralphie as Adult: [narrating] Let's face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances.
Ralphie as Adult: My father's spare tires were only tires on the academic sense. They were round,and had once been made of rubber.
Bud White: Merry Christmas. Lynn Bracken: Merry Christmas to you, officer. Bud White: That obvious, huh? Lynn Bracken: It's practically stamped on your forehead.
Robert Marley: We were always heckling you. Jacob Marley: It's good to be heckling again. Robert Marley: It's good to be doing anything again.
Rizzo the Rat: Boy, that's scary stuff! Should we be worried about the kids in the audience? Gonzo: Nah, it's all right. This is culture!
Vegetables: If he became a flavor you can bet he would be sour. Yuck! Muppet Man: Even the vegetables don't like him!
Lew Zealand: Boomerang fish! Guaranteed fresh! Throw the fish A-WAY... and it comes back to me! Get 'em while they're fresh!
Another Christmas Poem Blood Christmas, here again. Let us raise a loving cup: Peace on earth, goodwill to men, And make them do the washing-up.
I had two cups of coffee, put Eric's jeans in the washer, read a romance for awhile, and studied my brand-new Word of the Day calendar, a Christmas gift from Arlene. My first word of the New Year was 'exsanguinate.' This was probably not a good omen.
And when you are being kissed like this, you are Christmas Day; you are the moon shot; you are field larks. My shoes were suddenly worth a million pounds, and my breath was the ethyl in champagne. When someone kisses you like this, you are the point ...
And so it continued all day, wynde after wynde, from a room beyond came the whistle of a teakettle. "Now, you really must join me. I've some marvelous Darjeeling, and some delicious petits fours a friend of mine gave me for Christmas.
I actually hate Christmas," says Eileen. "Everybody has this idea you have to have a good time, like happiness comes in a ruddy packet." Her face is flushed with heat. "One time, I stayed in bed all day. That was one of my best Christmases.
Rose: Look at you, beaming away like you're Father Christmas! The Doctor: Who says I'm not, red-bicycle-when-you-were-twelve? Rose: [shocked] What? The Doctor: And everybody lives, Rose! Everybody lives! I need more days like this! Go on, ask me anyt...
You know the real reason we celebrate Christmas, don't you? I mean, beyond Santa Claus and jungle bells and Christmas trees? You mean because Jesus was born? she asked. Yes... but did you ever think how Jesus was born? I mean, have you considered how...
Let him into the mire and muck of our world. For only if we let him in can he pull us out.
It's bad enough in life to do without something YOU want; but confound it, what gets my goat is not being able to give somebody something you want THEM to have.
