Without the door let sorrow lie, And if for cold it hap to die, We'll bury 't in a Christmas pie, And evermore be merry.
I heard the bells on Christmas Day Their old, familiar carols play, And wild and sweet The words repeat Of peace on earth, good-will to men!
All my memories seem to happen to music. Memories of my mother and father; waking up early on Christmas morning; the little apartment we lived in above the disco.
Eddie: She falls down a well, her eyes go cross. She gets kicked by a mule. They go back. I don't know.
Clark: The most enjoying traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin. Thith tree is a thymbol of the thpirit of the Griswold family Chrithmath.
Rusty Griswold: Dad, this tree won't fit in our back yard. Clark: It's not going in the yard, Russ. It's going in the living room.
Eddie: Every time Catherine revved up the microwave, I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for about half an hour or so.
Clark: Russ, go get the hammer. Ellen: Clark, what do you need a hammer for? Clark: I'm gonna catch it in the coat... And smack it with the hammer.
Art: [a messenger delivers Clark's envelope with his "bonus", the family looks questioningly] What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?
Mr. Frank Shirley: [picks up the phone receiver] Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I'm waiting.
Ruby Sue: Uncle Clark, are you sure you ain't Santa Claus? Clark: I'm sure... I can't even afford to be an elf.
Clark: I think you've made a terrible mistake. SWAT Commander: I told you to freeze, mister. Clark: May we blink?
Audrey: [Commenting on sleeping with her brother] I have nightmares about what he does when I'm NOT lying next to him.
Art: [to Rocky] You got a kiss for me? Eddie: Better take a rain check on that, Art - he's got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet...
Mr. Frank Shirley: I have never been treated like this in my life. Ellen: I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.
The Inventor: I know it is a little early for Christmas, Edward, but; I have a present for you. [shows Edward his soon to be human hands]
Harry: Hey, hey, hey! It's Christmas, where's my present, Slick? Perry: Your fucking present is you're not in jail, fag-hag.
[Stocking a box with liquor for the police's Christmas party] Liquor Store Owner: If I ever get held up, you guys better be here.
Jack Skellington: [singing] Just because I cannot see it, doesn't mean I can't believe it!
Oogie Boogie Man: I am the shadow on the moon at night / Filling your dreams to the brim with fright.
Santa: Haven't you heard of peace on earth and goodwill toward men? Lock, Shock, Barrel: NO!
